Where I Belong
by YetAnotherFan2010
Summary: This is a coming-of-age love story about Renesmee. A Sequel to Setting Things Right, it takes place 10yrs after Renesmee was born, and she is all grown and ready to discover the world on her own!
1. Chapter 1

Hi Everybody,

So this is a sequel to "Setting Things Right". The story will be told in Renesmee's POV, except for the prologue. If you've read STR, you can skip the prologue as it is the same as the epilogue in STR...

Happy reading and please let me know what you think :)

**Disclaimer: The Twilight universe and all of its characters belong to SM!**

PROLOGUE (Bella's POV)

I swung gently on the wooden rocking chair, my baby girl carefully cradled in my arms. I momentarily looked at the extending forest in front of our porch, I could both hear and smell the wild animals wandering through the woods. So much had happened in so little time, and I was still overwhelmed by the influx of information that bombarded my too acute, vampire brain.

Edward and I had moved to this charming, isolated cabin, in Wronki, Poland, right after our honeymoon. We had just found out that I was pregnant and we had learned that we couldn't go back to Forks. Ever. The werewolves would be waiting for us. Alice hadn't been able to see what they had planned to do but she had seen the aftermath: Edward's limbs burning in a large fire.

My body shuddered at the thought and my undead heart contracted violently. I couldn't lose him. Ever. He was my silent heartbeat. He was the glue that kept all my pieces together.

My precious Renesmee cooed musically, calling on my complete attention. I immediately looked down at my darling treasure sleeping in my arms, my body full of love and devotion. She was so light and so fragile in my iron white arms. Her skin was only one shade pinker than my pale skin. I smiled at my sleeping baby and carefully caressed her plump, rosy cheek, so soft and warm against my marble fingers. I was only getting used to my strength and barely pressed my cold fingers against her fragile flesh. I held her tiny hand in mine and was instantly transported in her dreams, colorful images of the family, feelings of safety and trust and love rushing through my head.

My baby was happy.

I observed her half human, half vampire features and saw my perfect Edward in her. I played with one of her curl and remembered faintly of my dad. It was his hair texture. I felt a nudge of melancholy at the thought of Charlie. He still didn't know I had abandoned him forever. He was still assuming that Edward and I were traveling on our honeymoon. We had just sent him a postcard a few days ago that a friend of Carlisle mailed for us from Brazil. He would never know of what I had become. He would never find out how close I had been to death during the delivery. But I wanted so badly to share my fairytale with him. I wanted him to know how happy I was. I wanted to tell him about his granddaughter, who had his curly hair.

Edward had promised me that in nine month, we would send him a picture of a newborn Renesmee, taken only a day after her birth. Charlie would believe that I had just given birth then, even though his grandchild, with her supernatural growth rate, would already be physically a four year old. But at least he would know about her. He would know that we were happy, and hopefully that would be enough.

A blissful shiver ran down my spine as I felt the electrifying eyes of my husband watching over me. I looked up to our bedroom window. Edward was peeking outside the window to check on his two girls, his light honey eyes shining with admiration. I smiled at him, instantly feeling joy and contentment.

I would never regret my choices.

His features smoothed at my honest smile. I knew he was worried, as were the rest of the family, to leave me alone with Renesmee. My newborn baby was only a week old, even though she looked so much bigger and stronger than that. And I was a newborn too, impossibly strong and constantly thirsty. Which was why my family; my new, eternal family, hovered over my daughter and me like we were two delicate, easily irritable creatures. They constantly checked on me and worried about my actions. They didn't understand my unnatural calm and poise. It had been only a week since I had been turned, and I didn't behave like any other newborn vampire. They thought I could hurt my own daughter, or even worst, that I would want to drain her.

I looked down at this perfect creation and I knew I would never hurt her. I would protect her with my own life. And I'd almost had to. I quickly pushed away the faint memories of my last days as a human. My human body had broken in pieces, too weak to care for my supernatural child. It had almost all been too much. I remembered the feeling of being pulled into darkness, only to wake up two days later in a newer, stronger version of my old self.

It had all been worth it. My baby was worth it.

Holding this breathing, heart-beating perfection in my arms, feeling this unconditional love flowing freely from her hands was what helped me stay calm and focused. I was hearing and seeing and feeling so many new things with my acute, supernatural, unfamiliar senses. It was overwhelming, and Renesmee was the only thing that anchored me to reality.

It was a magical feeling to know that Edward and I had created this beautiful being, together. I smiled at the realization that she came from our love and our strength, and that she survived thanks to our faith in us and in our future.

My thoughts went back to that day in his room. The day he had finally accepted our destiny. The day he had come back to me and had given me everything I had ever needed. It had been the day that we both finally put trust in our future.

I remembered the day Edward had kneeled down on one leg and had proposed to me, his mother's ring in his hand. We had been basking in the rare sun of Forks, in our private meadow. Edward was reflecting diamond rainbow off of his perfectly sculpted body. I remembered how the light breeze in the air and Edward's cold body against mine had felt like heaven. He had looked up to me, his eyes brighter than fire itself, and asked me to become his wife, for eternity.

I stared happily down at the amazing result of our struggles, of all the barriers we had leaped over. I smiled widely, awed and grateful that I got so much more than I ever dreamed of.

We had succeeded. I got my Edward and my Renesmee, and I got my forever after.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi dear Readers! So this takes place 10 years after the prologue, which means 10yrs after Renesmee was born, and she is all grown and ready to discover the world!

I really enjoy writing, and it feels great to publish on FF, because I can share it with great readers and other writers, and especially because I can get feedbacks from all of you! And this means that I really, really appreciate reviews so I can improve and learn, and to know if I'm doing anything right, or utterly wrong! So please, write something after reading. THANKS!

**DISCLAIMER: ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO SM! This is HER baby, and I'm just playing with it :)**

CHAPTER 1

I plopped loudly on my too soft, too small dorm bed and looked around me with a mixture of excitement and fear. My parents were checking everything around me: the closet, the desk, the window. They were rambling on and on about do's and don'ts. I was barely listening to them, even though I was great at multitasking.

I looked at this small room, bare and impersonal. I stared at the bed across from mine and felt my stomach knot. I was going to share this space with a stranger, a human stranger, who already knew about friendship and school and all the human stuff I had been deprived of.

I reminded myself that I wanted this. I had begged for this. I had fought for this. Despite my family's disapproval.

But suddenly I had doubts. Doubts that it was too fast, that I was too young, that I wouldn't fit in.

I had never been separated from my family. I had never been surrounded by humans. I had never gone to school.

Would my classmates think I'm weird? Would they not like me?

I noticed my dad's cold hand cup my face lightly. I looked up at him and half smiled.

"Renesmee, you don't have to do this if you don't want to," he said softly.

"I want to!" I exclaimed with a little too much passion, trying in vain to hide my own doubts.

I wanted to try and I wanted to have a normal life. I was just...

"Afraid," dad finished my thought knowingly.

Mom came rushing towards us swiftly and sat next to me on my new bed. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders, bringing me close to her. I placed my head on her comforting shoulders and exhaled loudly.

I wanted to cry. For so many reasons. Because I would miss my parents, and the rest of the family. Because I hated feeling like this, young and afraid. Because I hated that this was so new, so different from where I came from. Because I always wanted to be normal, and now I realized that I probably would never fit in a world of humans.

"Angel, as soon as you want to come back home, as soon as something bad happens, you'll call us, and no matter where we are, or what time it is, you know we'll be here in a flash." Mom said reassuringly.

"Having vampires as parents can have its advantages," dad joked quietly.

I giggled too and pushed back the tears that were threatening to roll down my cheeks.

"Let's get you settled," mom said while opening one of my suitcase and carefully taking out my folded shirts. She made me think of aunt Alice suddenly, and I giggled.

"Has aunt Alice given you instruction on how to unpack?"

Mom smiled brightly at me, her golden eyes as warm and shiny as the sun itself. "Of course she has," she replied, laughing. Dad started laughing too, always happy when mom was. And I couldn't contain my own laughter.

We unpacked quickly, talking about all the minor details of college life. My dad instructed me, as grandpa advised, to still go hunting once a month, and discussed the wild life in this part of the world.

After we were done unpacking, my parents stood. silently, in my new room. They held on to each other as if they were comforting one another, while watching me with a mixture of sadness and pride.

"Don't worry, honey, everything will be fine. Everybody will love you," mom said, hugging me firmly.

Dad waited until mom finally let go of me and then he came to me, pressing his loving, cold lips to my forehead. " I love you, Renesmee. Call whenever."

"I promise, dad."

My parents turned around to leave when the door opened and a faint scent of roses came my way. A girl with long blond hair walked in and stared at the three of us, her mouth open in aw by the sight in front of her.

She didn't say anything so dad broke the silence.

"Hi, you must be Renesmee's roommate."

"Yes, I'm Lily." She said, staring straight at my dad and not even looking in my direction.

"Hi Lily, I'm Renesmee." I said, stepping closer and waiving my hand.

She tore her eyes away from dad and looked at me. " Hi," she said before facing dad again.

What was going on?

Dad looked at me at my thought and minutely shook his head to tell me not to worry. Mom walked closer to dad and hooked her arm in his. He looked at mom with his cheesy big smile and mom returned the smile.

My parents were way too in love, even after years of being married.

"I'm Bella," mom said to the girl, who stared back at mom with unkind eyes. "And this is Edward, Renesmee's big brother."

My dad looked seventeen. I knew we had to lie, but it made me nervous anyway. How was I going to keep secrets from my own roomate?

"Do you go here too," Lily asked eagerly, directing her question back to dad again.

"No, my _fiancee_and I attend Dartmouth." Dad answered politely, but with obvious reservation.

"Well we should go, and you two can get to know each other better," mom said, looking back at me and then smiling at Lily.

I didn't like Lily. I didn't like the way she looked at mom as if she wanted to throw daggers at her. I didn't like the way she smiled at dad with malice. And I really didn't like the way she was entirely ignoring me.

Mom quickly hugged me again and whispered in my ear that she loved me. Dad hugged me too.

"Give her a chance, honey. You don't know anything about her," he whispered extremely low and fast in my ear. There was no way Lily heard him.

I grabbed both of my parents' hands and sent them my love through my gift. They both smiled and left.

And here I was, alone for the first time, in a world I didn't know anything about.

**Remember to review :)**


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 2

Classes started and I easily adapted to my new routine. I woke up early every morning to make sure that the shower would be free and got ready for my human day to enfold.

I had breakfast in the cafeteria, which was always quiet this early in the morning, and read my assignments of the day. I attended all my classes eagerly, loving listening to professors share their knowledge with us.

Lily was the only person I knew and we started to spend time together. She had become nicer to me after our first meeting, and she was helpful when asked.

She had given me a nickname that first night on campus. She had told me that my name was too long and too weird. I liked my name. And nobody had ever complained about it before her. But I didn't argue with her, she was very finicky and bossy. And it was true that my name was a mouthful. So that's when I became Red. She had explained that it sounded close enough to my long name, and that since my hair was red, it was perfect. She had seemed so proud of her creation that I'd smiled. But still, I didn't like that new nickname. It wasn't me.

We had English together and I met new people through her. Lily was extremely friendly, and she liked to socialize a lot.

Through her, I experienced my first human lessons. And in these first few days of college, I learned a lot.

First, every human had a different scent. Some sweeter than others. Some more luscious than others.

Second, I learned that I didn't have an appeal for drinking human blood. It was too close to my own warm liquid running through my veins. And at that, I felt myself suddenly more at ease around my classmates.

Third, humans liked to talk. A lot. About things that didn't matter. Even more, they liked to talk about other people. Behind their back. It seemed, bizarrely, that they enjoyed putting others down.

It made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't understand the pleasure in that. I watched as my roommate created new acquaintances on campus, inviting classmates to watch a tv show with us in our room, or simply to sit and talk for a few hours.

It always seemed like Lily were enjoying those people's company. They would laugh hysterically and they would share random facts about their past. Loud talking and laughing was always a part of those friendly encounters. But later, when her guests would leave the room, Lily would sit on her bed and sigh, wanting to discuss with me about those visitors.

" Red, did you see how big her nose was?" she had said to me once.

I'd frown at her remark and shook my head. " Her nose was fine, Lily." I'd answered.

Or she would talk about their fashion senses, or the sound of their laugh, or their taste in movies, or the fact that they came from an apparently bad place.

It seemed like there was always something to criticize. And I had started to feel self-conscious.

I was lying to her about who I was and held so many secrets. Lily was constantly asking me questions and I was so scared to say something that would hint her at me not being normal. Having to hide half of who I am was tiring and difficult.

Sometimes, I wished I could go back home, with my family. They knew exactly who I was and they loved me unconditionally.

After two weeks of school, I decided it was time to go hunting. I had pushed that thought away for too long and my body was asking for some blood. I noticed how my body shivered when walking ouside in the evening. I never got cold before, except on freezing winter nights. Cold was my comfort, my family, my home. Plus, my strength weakened as well. I had tried to move my bed the other day while changing the sheets and the bed had actually felt heavy.

I had to feed.

It was Sunday, and just as last Sunday, I noticed that Lily was staying in bed later than usual and she didn't seem to want to do anything. She was watching a marathon of some reality show while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I was starting to feel nauseous with all the human food around me and was missing my more fulfilling diet.

I wondered if today would be a good day to go into the forest.

My stomach knotted at the thought of going alone to hunt. My parents had never allowed me to go without supervision before and I suddenly felt wary of venturing into a forest I didn't even know all by myself.

But then, the familiar burn in my throat taunted me too much.

I got dressed and peeked at Lily, whose eyes were glued to the tv set.

"I'm going out for a walk," I said, worried that she would know something was weird about my comment.

She quickly glanced at me and nodded before returning to her show.

"See you later," she added absent-mindedly.

I walked across campus and reached the forest bordering the school. I entered it and walked faster, my heart beating fast, both out of nerve and excitement.

I wanted to be fast and thorough. I was too worried that my absence would start to raise questions and was scared that I wouldn't know how to dispose properly of the dead animal afterwards. My family had always helped me with it.

First, I listened carefully to make sure there were no humans near by. My whole family had repeatedly reminded me that it was the single most important thing. We couldn't get exposed and we never hurt humans.

Nobody was around and I got ready for my hunt.

I sniffed the way grandpa had taught me to, and when I caught a breath of alluring warm blood coming from the West, I swiftly lurked closer and slithered around the trees the way dad did. I saw three deer and inhaled deeply. I felt my mouth water with thirst.

I thought of how Uncle Jasper had explained the importance of being discreet and vigilant in order to take your prey by surprise. I listened to their calm heartbeats. They hadn't noticed me yet. I crept a little closer and then leaped over to them. I caught one and plunged my teeth into its thick fur. Its blood was boiling with fear when it rushed into my mouth. It tasted delicious and it tempered the fire in my throat. I drained it completely before letting go of the carcass.

I walked to the stream and washed myself as grandma always did with me. I was kind of a messy eater, just like mom.

After cleaning myself and hiding the leftover of my meal, I walked back to the dorm, filling proud and satisfied.

On my way back, I started thinking about Lily again. The way she talked about others was really something I despised, and it made me so uncomfortable.

Was that how every human functioned? Was everybody always searching for any fault someone had?

In the following days, I started paying more attention to people's interaction, and I noticed the similar, degrading talks between other students.

I heard those critical words everywhere, mentioning anything, from hairstyle to breast cup size, from the kind of snickers one wore to the type of bag one had. Everything seemed to matter in order to be liked. Where you were born. The shade of your skin. The type of clothes you wore. The sound of your voice. The music you listened to.

Slowly, fear and shame grew in me. I was petrified.

I knew I wasn't perfect. In fact, I was so far from being normal that the scrutiny that humans appeared to enjoy utterly scared me.

How was I going to make friends if I didn't act or looked or sounded exactly like they wanted me to.

I must have been sheltered more than I had imagined. I had never known how shallow humans were.

Our family was formed with mismatched, unique beings. We were all different and we completed each other, making our family stronger. We were better because of our diversity.

I became more nervous around people, worried of what they would think of me. I paid more attention to what I wore, trying to match the style of other students and I wished, for once, that I was more like my aunts rather than my mom because I didn't know anything about fashion. And whenever I had to talk, I carefully chose my words to sound like the others. I repeated statements that I had picked from listening to people's conversation, and, ironically, I was grateful for my vampire memory.

I studied human behavior as much as I studied for my classes.

I wanted to make friends. I wanted to fit in.

**Next chapter, a certain boy from La Push will appear :)**

**Please R&R  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**This is a long chapter. Enjoy! And don't forget to give me feedback :)**

CHAPTER 3

It was funny how my wish to fit in had been successful. Lily and I became close, even though I still felt resistant of being completely myself around her. She was fun and caring in her own way, but she was still quick at judging others.

We had made two other friends and the four of us became inseparable. We began a sort of clan of our own and the four of us had so much fun. At times, I still didn't understand a reference or two that they would make, and I would check it out on line late at night, when Lily was asleep. I learned so much about tv shows and movies, and realized how important these things were in my classmates' culture. They would suddenly start talking about Chandler and Monica like they were part of their families. I later found out they were fictional characters from a show named Friends.

My phone rang and I jumped off of my bed to answer.

"Hi sweety," mom said. I loved her voice. It sounded like cuddles and home. "What are you doing?"

"Lily and I are watching Jersey Shore on tv."

"Oh...," she said, obviously confused. "How was your weekend?"

"It was good. Emma and Jen came over to our room and we rented a few movies. We also ordered pizza. It was really fun."

I heard the music of mom's laughs. "I'm so glad, Renesmee. You are definitely experiencing college life."

"Yes. I'm happy too."

"And are you still balancing your diet?"

"Yeah, I went hiking on Sunday by myself. It's beautiful around here. I even saw deer on my path." I said nonchalantly. Mom would understand the details in between the lines, and Lily, who was sitting near me, would only understand my words at face value.

Hunting by myself had been a little scary. But it did feel good to feed. Really feed. All human food was like junk food. Nothing that really made my body become stronger or helped me stay healthy. Blood, on the other hand, energized me and made me feel good.

"And you always make sure there are no humans near by, right?" She asked

"Yes, mom. I wouldn't risk anything like that. And you and dad have warned me way too many times."

"I know, I know. We worry a little too much sometimes."

A _little_. _Sometimes_. That was an understatement. I chuckled.

"Honey, you are our only child. And you are only ten. We have a right to worry."

"I know, mom. But I'm being responsible. You raised me well."

"You are so mature and smart and... grown." She said with a hint of sadness. "I love you so much."

"Me too, mom."

Somebody knocked at the door and Emma and Jen walked into the room a few seconds later.

"Hey girls," Emma exclaimed. "Wanna go out?"

Lily nodded and got ready. They all looked at me expectantly.

"Humm, mom, can we talk later? My friends are going outside for a walk."

"Of course honey. I love you. And dad sends his love too."

"I love you too." I whispered before hanging up. It was weird to have to verbalize that loving feeling to my mom. I always used my gift to show her how I felt about her. It felt more efficient or more authentic to just let her feel my love for her.

"Red! Come on, let's go!" Lily called out, already out of the room.

I joined them quickly. "So, where to?"

"Where the hotties are at, of course!" Jen laughed.

My heart skipped a beat at the direction of their conversation. It always made me nervous when they spoke about boys and dating.

Obviously, I never had had a boyfriend. I was born only ten years ago and never met anybody outside of my family or my family's friends, who were way older than me. Like centuries older.

I had never thought about boyfriends or dating. But I did think about love. True love. My family were all coupled up. And it was more than marriage. They were eternal soul mates. They had been meant for each other and once they had found each other, their love would only grow stronger through time.

I was so unique that I sometimes wondered if there was even a match for me in this world. I wanted to find my other half. I wanted what my family had.

Emma looked curiously at me, and smiled.

"Red, are you thinking of somebody?"

I looked at her and blushed. I silently cursed my mom's genes.

"No!" I retorted.

"Oh!," Lily exclaimed with excitement, saving me from Emma's scrutiny. "I saw this cute guy going to the third floor the other day. Let's go there." She was almost jumping and clapping her hands with as much zeal as Alice. I giggled.

We rushed to the stair and went up. We perused the hallway, Lily searching for the cute guy she had mentioned before.

We heard a whistle and turned around.

A boy in blue shorts and a white wife-beater was leaning against the doorframe of his room. He stared at us. His eyes locked with Emma's and I noticed his pupil dilate before they traveled down her body.

"Damn, that's not _him_..." Lily whined discretely in my ear.

The guy whistled again and Emma giggled. She whipped a hair back and smiled at him.

"Hey," he said. "Wanna join us? We're having a little get-together."

"Okay" is all Emma said before approaching him. Lily, Jen and I followed behind her.

There were five guys spread around on the floor, bag of chips half eaten and cans of empty beer laying around.

It smelled bad and I wished I could go and open the window.

They offered us a beer each, and I accepted. I didn't want it but I didn't want to seem rude so I took it. I watched Lily, Jen and Emma open theirs and take a sip. I opened mine and discreetly sniffed it. The smell was appalling. I held the can in my hand but never took a sip of it.

The guys were drinking too, and we talked about what classes we took and our hobbies. The conversation verged towards tv and everybody started talking about Jersey Shore. I was glad Lily had made me watched a few episode with her so I could follow the conversation.  
>They each finished their drink, and when Luis, a tall guy with semi-long hair that covered his eyes, went to get more beer, he announced with alarm that they were out of beer.<p>

"Let's go to a bar," Kevin, who was glued to Emma by now, said.

Everybody cheered at the idea, except me.

"But... We're not twenty-one" I stated.

The guys laughed and I blushed.

"Red, it's a college town. Nobody's drinking-age and nobody cares," Lily said.

"Oh," is all I said.

Kevin wrapped his arm around Emma, and she leaned into his hold, smiling.

"Let's go," he said before heading out the door.

It was only around seven o'clock but it still felt wrong to go to a bar. This was definitely a human experience I didn't need to have. Having grandpa as a doctor made me way too aware of what alcohol could do to you.

"I... I think I'll head back home." I said, worried that they would judge me for it.

Lily and Jen begged me to go, and even the boys encouraged me to join them. Emma and Kevin were the only one not part of the conversation. They were ahead of us, kissing.

"You don't have to drink. We're just going there to hang out."

I felt so confused. I felt that it was wrong to go, but it seemed like they wanted me to. I didn't want to disappoint my newly made friends. My first friends ever.

"Ok, I'll come."

I felt my phone buzz and I looked at who was texting me.

Alice.

_Are you out with Emma?_she asked.

Damn. She knew we were heading to a bar. She couldn't see me but she had started to check on my friends now that I spent so much time with them.

_Yes._ I answered. _But I won't do anything. I promise._

_Darling, I don't think you should go. Humans act stupid when they drink._

I sighed. I felt really so conflicted. Of course, I knew what I should do. But I still felt an urge to follow my friends.

"Hey, is everything good?" Luis asked.

"Yeah." I answered, distracted.

"I've been to that bar before and there's nothing to worry about. It'll be empty at this time anyway. And it's only college students there. It's not like there's gonna be creepy old guys or anything. And we'll all be together."

I smiled at Luis. He was nice and seemed to sincerely want to put me at ease.

"Thanks." I told him.

My phone buzzed again.

_Please be careful. I can't see your friends once they enter the place._

_I promise I'll be responsible. Please don't tell mom and dad._I quickly texted her before joining my friends again.

_You'll be home by 9:30, safe and sound, so i guess it's okay. I won't tell your parents as long as you're being responsible. Don't do what your friends are doing!  
><em>  
><em>Thanks, aunt Alice. xoxo<em>

We entered the bar and everything smelled of beer. Even human blood was tainted with its scent. It was gross.

Lily grabbed my arm enthusiastically. " O.M.G" she said, emphasizing each letter. "The bartender is so hot!"

I peeked at the bar and automatically saw him. He was tall and muscular. His long silky black hair was held in a ponytail, and his auburn skin was shiny due to a thin layer of sweat.

"I want him," she said loudly.

A girl with hair that reminded me of aunt Rose heard Lily and glared at her.

"Good luck with that!" the blond girl snickered. "He's a good lay but he's an asshole! Don't get your hopes up."

I frowned at the words. What was she talking about?

Lily didn't care about the girl's words of wisdom and headed toward the bar. The rest of the group went to the bar as well.

"What do you want?" she yelled back at me as she approached the bar.

"Orange juice," I answered.

"Come on, Red! I can't ask _him_for orange juice. He'll think I'm a looser."

"But it's not for you, Lily. It's for me. And I don't care if he thinks I'm a looser. And by the way, the way that girl described him, I don't think you should try anything."

She rolled her eyes and turned around. Emma joined me, a huge grin on her face.

"Hey you, how's everything?" I asked

"Great! Kevin is so great!"

I heard Lily order a Sex on the Beach and my orange juice as Kevin came over with two drinks. He handed one over to Emma. The rest of the group joined us and we stayed by the bar talking.

Kevin was kissing Emma passionately right in front of us and I felt so embarrassed. Their tongues danced together and they kept on making weird sounds.

"That's gross," Luis exclaimed. "Get a room!"

Everybody laughed.

"What can I do if I'm totally infatuated with this sexy girl," Kevin replied before plunging in again and throwing his tongue right back into her open mouth. Disgusting.

"You're just horny, dude," one of the other guy shouted.

"Maybe it's love at first-sight," I said before thinking.

The silence that met my words worried me. They all looked at me like I had a third eye or something.

"What?" Somebody asked.

"Do you actually believe in that bullshit?"

I nodded, suddenly completely self-conscious and not sure if I should admit to it. Was it wrong to believe in love at first sight? Was I not supposed to believe in true love?

They all started laughing again, and I felt offended by their laughs.

"Somebody must've read too many fairytales growing up!" Lily said.

"You guys don't believe in that? You don't believe that there is somebody out there that's perfect for you?"

"There are a lot of people out there for me, and none of them are perfect, and I promise you it will never be forever," Kevin's friend replied.

"And anyway, who wants to be stuck with the same person for the rest of your life?" Another one of the guys said.

Well, I did want that. But I wasn't going to say anything more. They would laugh at me once again.

Lily turned around and called out to the bartender.

"Hey, I have a question for you," she shouted over the music.

He came closer and leaned over. I glanced at them, and was disturbed by how flirtatious Lily was with him.

"My friends were discussing about love and we were hoping to hear your opinion on that subject. So what do you say? Do you believe in true love," she asked.

He rolled his eyes and snickered, his deep voice rumbling in a very manly fashion. The sound seemed to vibrate through my body.

I shyly observed his reaction. It was written all over his face that he agreed with the rest of the group. And I felt a tinge of inexplicable disappointment. He seemed like he didn't believe in love at all and for some reason it saddened me.

His eyes, dark and shielded, perused the group and suddenly fell on me.

A strange shiver ran through my body, my eyes utterly locked into his dark gaze. I couldn't look away and my heart seemed to be stuck in my throat. I waited, paralyzed, until he would return his gaze to Lily, but they stayed glued to mine. His dark orbs strangely seemed to be brighter than a minute ago.

"So?" Lily pressed. "Love at first sight? True Love? Do you believe in it?"

The beautiful man behind the bar kept his eyes on me and simply nodded yes.

**:) YAY! Jacob is here and he believes in true love!**

**Ok, so I'm going away on vacation for a week and when I come back, I will try to post the next chapter as soon as possible, but PLEASE give me some incentive! Reviews are the best way to make me wanna post as soon as I'm back :)**

**Thanks for reading!  
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	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 4

Two sparkling dark orbs held my eyes captive. I didn't talk. He didn't talk. We just stared at each other, mesmerized.

I felt strangely attracted to him, as if I already knew him. I felt like he was what I had longed for forever, as if he were what was missing in me.

I felt whole.

"Yo, Jacob," a loud, annoyed voice called out. "There's a lot of clients waiting to be served."

The beautiful black eyes blinked and freed my gaze to look in the direction of the angry voice. I felt my body collapse from the intense stare we had just shared and I felt an emptiness in me now that the bartender wasn't near me.

And then, the eyes were back on me, reviving me instantly like two electrical shocks.

"Hum, you..." he mumbled towards me. "Do you... Are you thirsty?"

I shook my head and pointed to my full glass of orange juice.

"Oh, ok..." he said full of disappointment. I didn't like this look on his face.

"Later," I whispered, in hope to make him feel better.

He smiled and it was as if that smile had the power to generate heat. My whole body warmed up.

Two girls called on him to order drinks. They smiled wickedly and leaned forward to be closer to him. They were stealing his attention away and I didn't like it.

A weird feeling boiled in me at the sight of these two girls. I held back a roar and hardly fought back the desire to storm towards them and push them away.

Lily and Jen called my name. I dragged my eyes away from the girls and tried to shake away that weird urge to hurt these two innocent girls.

What was happening to me?

"Hey Red, what's going on here," Lily asked.

"It's seems like you and the hot bartender want to get it on," Jen added before giggling.

I looked back at the bar and noticed him glancing at me. He had a beautiful smile. I could feel my face instantly light up and I smiled back.

My two friends followed my gaze and giggled.

"Red, I don't think you should even think about doing something with him," Lily said. "He's like thirty or something."

I frowned and looked over at him again. He did look older than us. And he was so tall and muscular. But he couldn't be thirty, could he?

"_You_ wanted to do something with him. So what's different now?" I blurted out defensively.

"Well, I'm a lot more experienced than you. And you're... you're you: naive and inexperienced."

"And anyway, I don't want to get it on," I said, quoting Jen.

"So what do you wanna do?" Lily asked.

I glanced once again towards him and I noticed that he was still looking at me while pouring some girl's drink. His eyes glittered once our eyes met. He grinned and I knew my face mirrored his.

"Red," my friends pressed.

I shrugged. " I don't know... I... I just want to know him."

They rolled their eyes at me. "Whatever, girl," Lily said before pulling Jen away.

I drank my orange juice quickly. I wanted it to be done so I would have a reason to talk to him.

I really did want to be near him and I didn't understand that urge.

I approached the bar and found an empty stool. He almost ran towards me immediately and I giggled at his hurry.

"Hey," he said, his voice deep and husky. It might become my favorite sound ever.

"Hi," I answered softly.

"Hum... My name's Jacob, by the way," he said nervously.

"I'm Renesmee."

He extended his hand to shake mine and I froze. No human had ever shook my hand before, and they were so many emotions and thoughts twirling in my head that I was afraid that my gift would leak.

He quickly pulled his hand back and brushed his long hair, a hint of hurt in his eyes. My heart contracted and I felt guilty. I bit my lower lip nervously.

"I... sorry... it's just that my hands are kinda sweaty," I lied stupidly.

"No worries," he said. "So are you ready for your refill?"

I nodded and handed him my glass.

"Orange juice?" he asked, his eyebrows arching in surprise.

I nodded again. " I'm too young to drink."

His eyes roamed over my face and my body quickly and I felt goose bumps and warmth all at once.

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen," I mumbled. I used to love saying sixteen, knowing that I was technically so much younger. But at this instant, I hated it. Sixteen sounded like a baby and I felt ashamed of telling him my age.

"oh..."

I bit my lip again. Was he going to stop talking to me because of that? He walked away and my heart sunk.

But he came right back with my orange juice. "Here you go, Renesmee."

"Call her Red," Luis said, suddenly appearing from behind me. I cringed unintentionally. "Can I have two more Budlight, please."

Jacob looked over at me curiously. He momentarily left to get the two beers and came right back. Luis winked at me before paying and finally left.

"Red," Jacob asked suspiciously.

I shrugged. "My roommate came up with it. I guess it's easier than my full name."

"I don't like it. It doesn't fit you at all."

I smiled widely and he mirrored me. I was happy he wouldn't call me by that stupid nickname.

"So, you're a freshman?"

I nodded. "Do you attend the school too?"

"Yeah, I do. I'm only taking two classes this semester though. You'll probably graduate before I do," he teased. "So what's your major?"

"I'm undecided right now. I'm taking a few intro classes to see what I like."

"Cool. Which classes do you like best?"

"All of them," I said. " Sociology, biology, political science. They're all about life, people and the world. What about you?"

"I'm studying business. I want to open my own shop."

"That's cool. What kind of shop?"

"A car repair shop. I always loved doing that."

"My aunt and my dad love cars too. They taught me a little about it." I smiled.

"Oh yeah," he exclaimed with awe. "You like cars."

"Definitely!"

"Jacob," his boss called him. "Are you working or what?"

"Hum... I need to take care of these drunk, under-age college students now..." He whispered to me, pointing over to a group of loud boys.

"Of course, go." I smiled, but bizarrely, I felt sad about our interruption.

"Yeah, I should go... Hum, are you staying much longer?"

I shrugged. "I'm not really a bar type of girl. And I have morning classes tomorrow."

"I could take a break and walk you home, if that's ok with you."

I nodded, my heart suddenly beating faster in my chest. I was looking forward to a walk with him, away from the crowd, away from any interruption.

"Great. I'll be right back."

He rushed away before I could say anything else.

I sat on the barstool and sipped my orange juice, hoping that he would come back soon.

Emma came over to me, a grin on her face.

"I heard I'm not the only one who's going to score tonight," she joked.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Emma." I replied, exasperated by all of my friends' innuendos and jokes.

I wasn't going to get it on, or score, or whatever other term they came up with. I just wanted to learn more about Jacob and I liked talking to him.

"Oh come on Red, stop being a stuck up!" She whined. "We can see on your face how much you like him. We've never seen you smile like this before."

It was true that I had been smiling a lot in the last hour. There was something indescribable about Jacob that made me feel so happy.

I smiled again at that thought and Emma laughed.

"See what I'm saying!" she said.

"Ok, it's true. I like him. But not in _that_way. I just want to talk to him."

"Well, we got a table in the back. Come over when you're done _talking_," she told me, making quotation marks with her fingers at the word talking.

"Actually, I'm leaving. Jacob is walking me back to campus."

Her eyes grew wide with shock and a hint of concern, and there was a long beat of silence.

"Red, you know we were just joking when we told you that you should get some. You really shouldn't rush into anything," she stated seriously.

"I know you were joking. And what I said before was the truth; it's not like this. He's really _just _walking me back."

" You don't even know him. I heard rumors about him. He's a womanizer and a jerk."

I wanted to tell her not to worry. I wanted to tell her that I knew him, and that the instant that my eyes had locked into his, I had felt a sense of comfort and trust. At the first sight of him, I had sensed a strange connection with him that felt really good.

And like Emma said, he made me smile like never before.

"I'll be fine. I have a really good feeling about him. And if not, I know self-defense and I run really fast." I didn't really worry about being attacked by a human, even as muscular and tall as Jacob. I had had wrestling matches with much worst than him.

"Promise me to be careful,"

" I promise. And you too, ok? We don't know anything about this Kevin guy, and we haven't even heard any rumors about him."

"Ok, ok, I promise I'll be careful as well." She answered. "Good night, Red."

"Good night."

Emma went back to the table where the rest of the group was sitting and I stayed put on the stool as I promised Jacob. I waited impatiently for him to come back. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to hear his sooth, deep voice. I wanted to see his bright, heart-warming smile again.

I felt my face stretch once again into a smile. Yes, this guy had a curious power over me. He made me so happy.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 5

The phone tore me from my dreams. Sweet dreams of a certain boy with auburn skin, long silky hair and a smile that made my heart skip a beat.

I reached for the phone drowsily and pressed answer.

"Good Morning my favorite niece ever," Alice cheerfully sang.

"Alice, it's seven in the morning. Some people need sleep you know." I whined

"But you're only half-human, you should survive with only a few hours of sleep," she giggled.

"Don't you know teenagers sleep more than others," I retorted with wit.

"Oh, really?" She asked. "But you're only ten, honey."

I laughed.

"So, what was last night all about?" She asked, her voice lower than before.

"Hum... I know it was bad to go there, aunt Alice. I shouldn't have gone. But I drank orange juice and I left before everybody else."

"I don't understand the appeal of hanging out over there anyway."

"Me neither," I sighed. Well, there was one appeal: the bartender. But it stunk so much over there that I couldn't appreciate Jacob's woodsy scent, and it was so loud I couldn't hear his masculine voice over the music, and we were always interrupted by drunk people who wanted even more to drink. Bars definitely sucked.

"But," she urged, sensing there was more.

"Well, I kind of met somebody," I said nervously. This was definitely new for me.

"At a bar?"

"Yes. He works there. He wasn't drinking."

"How old is he?"

"Hummm, younger than you," I said, hoping to avoid having to answer. I had learned Jacob's age last night. He wasn't quite thirty yet, but he was getting close. He was twenty-seven, only one year younger than mom.

"Renesmee, everybody is younger than me! I'm ancient!"

I giggled. I loved annoying aunt Alice. Everybody else was too scared to tick her off. Good thing she never held a grudge against me, not like with the others.

"Ok, yes, he's a little older than me. But he's such a gentleman, and all we did was talk."

"Renesmee, we all want you to be happy and to experience a human teenage life, but you have to be wise in your choices."

I sighed. I knew she was right to warn me. But Jacob felt so... right. The way he had constantly glanced over to check on me when taking care of clients. The way he genuinely listened to my every words. The way he walked me home, worried for my safety and never, ever trying anything that was inappropriate.

"Are you going to see him again?" She asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I don't know." I shrugged. Jacob and I hadn't mention anything about seeing each other again. I didn't even know his last name and we hadn't exchanged numbers.

My heart suddenly felt heavier. What if I wasn't going to see him again?

"I hope we do. I... I feel like I can be myself with him. It's different than with Lily and the others," I confessed to my aunt. " I feel like I don't have to pretend with him."

"Well, that's a nice feeling, honey. I just don't want you to get hurt, ok?" my aunt said with love. "I wish I could see your future."

"The future is never definite anyway," I replied to soothe her. She always got so frustrated with her inability to check on me. "I have to get ready for class now."

"Sure. Have a good day. Love you," she replied, cheerful once again.

"Bye. Love you too."

I went to class feeling light and happy, my thoughts always flickering back to last night encounter. Was it possible that a simple stroll with a guy while talking about cars and life could be so pleasant?

Everything about him made me smile.

I remembered his eyes on me, and the way he would smile, wide and bright, and the sound of his smooth voice. And mostly, I remembered these unknown sensations that my body had felt: the shivers, the warmth, the racing of my heart. I had liked those feelings. It had made me feel aware of my body in new ways. It had awakened something new in me and I had felt so alive.

The way my body reacted to his nearness was amazing and I wanted it again.

Suddenly, I felt a pang of panic. What if I would never see him again? I felt my heart twist in abnormal ways, fighting against my durable chest as if trying to escape. My stomach knotted and burnt in painful ways.

I really, really wanted to see him again.

Once class was over, I left the room, oblivious to others. My mind was stuck on Jacob. He was the only thing I could think of, and the fear that I might never see him again was torturing me.

I walked out, only half aware of the pouring rain drenching me to the bones. I walked slowly, my eyes trained to the ground, lost in my thoughts. I was wondering if I should go back to the bar. It would be obvious that I had gone back to see him. I didn't drink and already told him I didn't like bars.

But I needed to do something to meet him again.

"Renesmee!" my favorite voice called out.

My eyes shoot upward and I saw him, a few feet in front me, concern in his eyes, and a small smile on his lips. He was so beautiful. He was holding an umbrella and quickly, with two long strides, he came closer to me and held the umbrella over me.

I inhaled and allowed my lungs to fill with his pleasant woodsy scent. He smelled so good.

"You're all wet. Are you okay?"

My eyes roamed over his face. His skin was such a beautiful tone, like lava and fire. It looked so soft and warm and cozy.

My body reacted to his closeness anew and I felt my body ignite with happiness. My gaze locked into his and I couldn't resist smiling widely.

"I'm fine."

I saw his eyes melt into bright sparkles, all concern eradicated, and he smiled back at me, bringing out the sun on this rainy day.

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm great!" He exclaimed joyfully. "I'm glad I bumped into you!"

"Me too. I was just thinking about you." I blurted out before thinking. I blushed at my confession.

He laughed and then leaned forward, staring intensely into my eyes. "I've been thinking about you ever since I said goodnight to you last night," he stated with so much truth that my body shivered and I got goose bumps.

"Let's get you somewhere dry so you don't catch a cold," he said. "You're shivering." He added, leading me toward the campus cafeteria.

We walked silently. He opened the door for me and let me enter first. I smiled at his chivalry. The men in my family were old-fashioned but I had rarely seen modern men act this way.

"Do you have time for a drink, or do you have to go somewhere?" he asked shyly.

"I have time. I have a class later, though."

He smiled. "Well, let's enjoy the present, then." I smiled back.

"What do you want?"

I was so tired of human products. I used to mostly drink blood and eat some human food once in a while, and now my diet had completely switched and I didn't really like it.

"Tomato juice," I answered. At least the color would be satisfying. Maybe I would be able to fool my body into thinking it was blood.

"Anything to eat?" I shook my head.

"Ok. I'll be right back. Grab a seat."

I did as he said and found us a table by the window, and waited for him to come back.

I jumped in surprise when he got back so fast. He was very quiet for a guy of his size. He sat down across from me and handed me my drink. He had two slices of pizza and a large soda.

I drank from the cup and grimaced. The color didn't fool me. It tasted nothing like warm, luscious blood.

"You have class today?" I asked to break the silence.

"No, I don't. I only have classes Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"Oh. So what are you doing on campus this early?"

An adorable, shy smile spread over his face, his eyes looking down. "I... I was hoping to see you."

My heart flipped with glee. He wanted to see me. This day was getting better by the second.

He looked back up at me and my heartbeat sped instantly. My body was constantly reacting to him and I had no control over it.

I felt my blush creep up into my cheeks while thinking about the implications of this. I wanted to see him and he wanted to see me, too. What did that mean? Where would those feelings lead?

He lent forward slowly, and reached a strand of my copper hair that was hanging loosely and tucked it behind my ear. His fingers brushed my cheek lightly and my skin tingled in a very nice way, my heart almost jumping out of my chest at his touch.

" You're so beautiful," he simply stated, cutting the air out of my lung completely.

I felt my face burn, and I chewed on my lips nervously.

"Thank you," I mumbled in a shy whisper.

He chuckled softly, his eyes bore into mine.

"What?"

He shook his head, his ponytail bouncing back and forth.

"It's just that sometimes you seem so mature that you seem so much older than a teenager, and sometimes, like now," he said, brushing my cheek again with his smooth and warm fingers, his eyes gazing at me with intensity, "you look so young and innocent."

I felt my forehead crinkle. I was exactly what he said, but how would I explain it. I was ten years old in a body of a sixteen years old, and yet my mind was fully developed, closer to a mature adult of thirty.

I was weird and complicated.

Did he not like that? Was it too confusing for him? I worried once again about my abnormality.

"Sorry." I said.

"What are you sorry about? I love that you can be so poised and mature, and yet looking like you're experiencing everything for the very first time."

"This _is _new for me," I confessed. "I've never felt like this before."

He smiled and reached for my hand. I pulled my hand away, once again feeling guilty about refusing him to touch my hand. But I had no other choice. I couldn't reveal my secret now and my feelings were too strong right now to hide them. They would be pouring out of my hands at our touch and he would get scared by my unnatural gift.

Luckily, he seemed to accept my refusal to hold hands and instead leaned further. We were so close that I could feel his breath tickling me, and his scent was enveloping me whole.

My heart was beating twice as fast as usual.

"I've never felt this before either. This is completely new to me too." He said.

Our eyes locked and his dark, magnetic eyes made me feel warm and complete and so content. I felt my body lean closer to him too. We were mere inches from each other and my breathing hitched with anticipation.

His perfect scent of pine trees and autumn made me dizzy with happiness.

A cough tore me from my trance. I quickly pulled back and looked up to see Jen smiling maliciously at us.

"Hi." She said cheerfully.

"Humm, hi," I answered.

She stared at me with curiosity.

"Jen, do you remember Jacob, from last night." I added.

She eagerly shook Jacob's hand, and a pang of jealousy hit me. I couldn't let him touch my hand, but he was able to touch Jen's hand.

"Of course I remember Jacob. You're the bartender that went home with Red last night."

"Hi Jen, it's nice to see you again." Jacob said. "Yes, I walked _Renesmee _home yesterday." He added, emphasizing on my full name, knowing that I didn't like my nickname.

"It's almost three, Red," she continued, completely oblivious to Jacob's subtle hint about my name. "Are you going to class or what?"

Wow, time flew by. I got up immediately.

"Crap! We should really get going," I told Jen.

I turned to Jacob and suddenly felt uneasy about leaving. His smile seemed to have faded away as well.

"I...I have to go to the class." I said. "Thanks for the drink." I added, pointing to my half full glass of tomato juice.

"It was nice to see you again." He said to me and then turned to Jen, "Nice to officially meet you, Jen."

She giggled. "Bye Jacob," she added before tugging my arm to go.

I smiled at him and he smiled back, but not as bright and wide as before. Parting was more difficult than I thought.

Jen and I turned around and started walking away when Jacob called after me.

"Hummm...would you like to hang out again?" He asked.

"I would love to," I said with a little too much excitement.

This time, his smile was big and bright.

"Great. What's your number?" he asked.

We exchanged numbers quickly before Jen and I ran to class, getting there right on time.

During class, I didn't listen to the professor as carefully as usual. My fingers played with the same strand of hair that Jacob had touched and smiled to myself, knowing that I will see him again.

I couldn't wait for him to call me.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 6

The call I had waited for came sooner than expected. I had just stepped out of my class and my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Renesmee? Hi, it's Jacob."

I smiled widely. It had been a whole hour since I had last heard his voice. And I loved hearing that husky voice say my name. Chills coursed through my body and the desire to see him was extremely strong.

"Hey Jacob."

"Do you have plans right now?"

"Not really. I was gonna go to the library for a little while but it's not necessary."

"Well, you said you liked to hike and I was wondering if you were interested in going for a little hike with me."

"Now? Hummm, sure." I couldn't say no to him.

"Great! I'll come and pick you up in fifteen minutes. That's good?"

"Sure. I'll be ready. See you soon."

"See you soon." My heart sped at the way he said those parting words, with so much eagerness and care. I enjoyed his promise to see me soon. I needed to see him and to know that he will come in fifteen minutes made me feel reassured.

I raced home and dropped my bookbag. I slipped off of my flip-flops and put on snickers instead. It was just technicalities. I could hike easily barefoot, but I'm sure Jacob would notice that something was weird. I took a light sweater with me because it was four thirty and it usually got chilly in the evening. Recently, I noticed that my body reacted to the change in temperature and that I got cold more easily than before. I knew it was because I didn't hunt enough. I knew I should talk to grandpa about this, but I kept on pushing away the discussion. I was afraid they would all want me to come home, especially mom and dad. They worried too much.

Lily came in when I was ready to leave.

"Hey Red, what are you up to?" She asked, eyeing me up and down.

"Going for a hike with Jacob," I told her.

"Well, I hope you finally close the deal. This is going so slow!" she said, almost in a whine. I felt a surge of anger boil in me but I breathed deeply and left without saying anything more.

We knew each other for three days! What did she think? Not everybody jumped on the first guy they saw to "close the deal"! I wasn't ready for any of that. I couldn't even hold hands with him, and I had never kissed anybody before.

Suddenly, a hint of panic grew in me. Was that why Jacob was taking me on a hike? Did he want to move faster? Was he hoping I would give it up for him tonight? I mean, he was older, and according to the women in the bar, he did sleep with some of the patrons in the bar.

Another feeling, stronger, boiled in me. I wanted to hurt any woman that had laid hands on him. I suddenly felt a sense of ownership. I didn't want anybody else touching him.

I got to the front door just as Jacob arrived. He was grinning wide and the negative thoughts disappeared at his sight. I beamed back at him.

"Ready?" He asked.

I nodded and noticed his hand twitch and I knew before he actually made any movement that he was going to take my hand. I swiftly brought my hand to brush my hair to avoid his touch. His hand never inched closer and instead he put his hands in his short pockets. We walked to the border of the forest and he led me up a trail that I knew well, even though I never stayed on the trail to hunt. It would be too risky.

"Is there a specific destination?" I asked.

"Yes, you'll see. It's a surprise." I smiled. I liked surprises, totally unlike my mother. It was funny how it made me think of the story that mom and dad told me about when they met. He had taken her to his special place, a meadow up in the mountains of Washington State. I'd always thought it was so romantic. That's where they had confessed their love for each other. I had even asked them if I could go and see it, but they had reminded me that we were not allowed in the state of Washington. There were vicious werewolves that wanted to kill us.

"Do you come here a lot?" I asked Jacob.

"Yeah, I like being in the forest. It reminds me of home. I feel at peace in the forest." He explained.

"Yeah, there's something about nature and the quietness that it offers that makes me feel at peace too. My family spends a lot of time in the wilderness as well."

He smiled at me, his eyes boring into mine with so much emotion.

"What?"

"You're amazing!" he declared.

I blushed and looked ahead. We continued walking silently for a moment.

"Do you go back home a lot?" I finally said.

"No. I haven't been back there in five years."

"What?" I exclaimed, horrified at the thought of being away from my family and home for so long. "Why?"

He looked at me and then his gaze looked away, in the distance, a hint of sadness in them. Immediately, I wanted to make him feel better. I walked closer to him but stopped when he started talking again.

"My friends and I were extremely close. We spent every awake moment together. We were like pack brothers. We knew each other so well that we... we kind of shared even private thoughts with each other. And then, all of them found their mates. They were so involved protecting and taking care of their soul mate that things changed. And I was supportive. I really was. But I still felt left out. And being so close to my brothers, practically sharing thoughts with them, was becoming too hard... And when my dad died, I couldn't handle all that love anymore. I... felt like nobody loved me. I felt all alone. And I started to believe that I would never find the one."

He brought his eyes back to me and the sadness wasn't there anymore. There was a light in his eyes. Hope.

"I traveled across the country, avoiding human contact. And then, two years ago, I got tired of running away. I settled here and applied to college."

I locked my eyes with his and walked slowly to him. His stare stayed on me, burning my core. I closed the last remaining inches between the two of us and wrapped my arms around his waist.

I felt his body relax in my embrace and he put his arms around my shoulder, pressing me closer to him.

I felt fireworks. There was no other description to what I felt. Blissful fire exploding everywhere, making me alive and happy and wanting more.

I squeezed harder, needing to be so much closer to him. He gently pressed my head against his chest and I settled my head on top of his heart. I listen to its musical beat, realizing this was the first time I heard another heartbeat from so close. I closed my eyes and inhaled Jacob.

This was heaven.

We stayed holding each other, silently, for a while. I focused on every single inch of my body that was in contact with him. Millions of tingles danced on the surface of my skin, while a warm current coursed on the inside.

We heard a crack and both flinched. We looked toward the noise and I could discern people.

"Hikers approaching," Jacob whispered. He pulled back a little and stared intently at me. "We should continue if we want to get there for sunset."

"Okay," I said softly.

We continued walking toward a small opening. I heard the sound of rushing water becoming clearer.

I felt a pleasant jolt on my lower back and realized that Jacob had placed his hand there, leading me toward the clearing.

As soon as we stepped out into the clearing, I was speechless. The sun was already setting, coloring the sky with a fiery orange color, and a beautiful waterfall splashed right across from us. The water reflected the bright light of the sunset. It was more colorful than any painting I had seen before. It sparkled brighter than any of my family member in a summer day.

Jacob pulled me to a big rock close to the pool of water, and sat down. I sat next to him and watched the water fall at high speed, making the water at our feet twirl and flicker, sprinkling us a little.

"It's beautiful," I breathed, not wanting to spoil the serenity of this place.

He eyes met mine and nodded. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I scooted closer to him, our sides touching again. I let my head fall on his shoulder and took in the beauty of the place, the feeling of Jacob so close to me, the perfection of this evening.

"Thank you," I said after a while, pulling my head up to look at him.

He looked back at me, his eyes once again so full of emotion and unsaid words. I felt myself drawn to him.

"Thank you, Nessie." he whispered low. Nessie. I felt a new feeling grow in me at the pleasure of his name for me. I felt special, like we shared some intimate, secret code. Nessie. I really liked the way he whispered it to me. It gave me goose bumps all over.

I smiled at the warm pleasure he gave me. Jacob leaned forward and his head came closer. I felt my heart thumping uncontrollably in my too tight chest. His lips pressed against my forehead and I closed my eyes as the heat and the tingles spread all over my body.

He squeezed the side of my waist where his hand laid and pulled me even closer to his side. I laid my head back on his shoulder and he placed his head over mine.

We breathed in unison, both of our heartbeats drumming peacefully, the water adding its own musical tone and refreshing us from the heat that Jacob emanate.

I wished I could stay here with him forever.

**PLEASE R&R :)**


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 7

I stared at the printed words in front of me, oblivious to their meanings. I closed my book and pressed my head back a little and enjoyed the warm skin that was right there, behind me. I listened to the vibration of his heartbeat drumming against the back of me, each beat moving me as if I were a part of him. I let myself melt against his perfect body and temporarily shut my eyes. I allowed the blissful fire rush through my body like tiny electrical jolts.

Jacob felt so nice.

His hand that was casually placed around my waist gave me a little squeeze before he bent down and kissed the back of my head. I felt the smile that spread across my face. I loved when he just hugged me and held me tight. It made me feel so safe and happy. I felt so perfectly cozy in his arms, as if his arms were molded just for me. I never felt so myself and so whole than with Jacob.

"Are you done with your reading?" he whispered.

I nodded. "And you?"

"No, but I'm hungry."

I laughed. "You're always hungry, Jacob!"

"I'm twice your size, little one, and you eat like a bird!"

We both laughed and his body shaking against mine felt like heaven.

I forced myself up, out of his arms, and turned around to look at him. He was still sitting on the campus lawn, his back against a tree. He was looking up at me, a brilliant light in his gaze. Our eyes locked and the bliss that danced in his eyes was so contagious.

"So get up, Jacob! Let's go feed the ogre!"

He jumped up, tickled me and made a fake human roar. I started laughing hysterically and ran at human speed towards the cafeteria. Jacob caught up easily, laughing. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I leaned in close to his side. He knew better than to try to hold my hands now. He never asked why and simply accepted my quirk.

I smiled again as the feeling of bliss coursed through me.

He served himself a ton of food and I got a fruit salad and a piece of bread. As we sat down, the girls arrived and joined us. Lily and I had become a little more distant since I had started spending time with Jacob. Emma was busy with her own male friend. Jen and I still talked as much as before. We had two classes together. She had told me that Lily was jealous and was bad-mouthing me. I tried to ignore her attitude, and since she never said anything in my face, I made believe everything was fine.

"Did Renesmee tell you girls about the party tomorrow? You're all invited," Jacob told them.

"Yeah, Red told us. So your friends from home are coming to visit? Any cute ones?" Lily asked.

"Well, I'm no judge about that. But they're all in serious relationships." The way Jacob said that they were in serious relationships made me uneasy, as if there were a hidden message behind that.

I glanced at him and he looked back at me, his eyes so bright and open.

I constantly wanted to be close to Jacob and I felt completely myself with him. He made me feel so comfortable, which made me feel guilty that I was hiding so many secrets from him. I didn't know how I could possibly be honest with him without losing him. I couldn't expect him to accept that I was half-vampire, that I preferred a mountain lion's blood to a chocolate cake, and that I would never age.

I couldn't tell him who I was, and yet he was the only one I wished could know all of me.

"You're okay?" he whispered in my ear, goose bumps popping all over my skin.

I nodded and looked back at him.

"I'm a little nervous about meeting your friends," I said.

He rolled his eyes. "They'll love you, Nessie. It's me they hate right now," he half-joked.

"Are you nervous to see them again?" I asked

He shrugged. "I guess so, a little. I mean, I just disappeared the day of my dad's funeral and they never heard from me again for five whole years." He stayed silent for a while and then looked at me. "Like I said, we were..._are... _like brothers, so they're really hurt by what I did. But at the same time, I know they already forgave me. And they really happy I met someone. And the fact that you're the reason I called them definitely puts you on their good side."

I smiled. "Well, I'm glad you called them."

He smiled too and leaned forward and I temporarily forgot the girls and the rest of the people in the cafeteria. My eyes glanced to his glistening lips and back up to his eyes, deep in emotions. I could hear my heart pounding loudly in my ears. He brushed my cheeks gently, with care. And then he pulled back, like always. I felt my heart fall down to the pit of my stomach.

I wanted him to kiss me.

Jacob cleared his voice and my eyes flashed back to his face. He winked at me and smiled.

"My friends are arriving tonight, so I should get going. I need to clean my place and then go and pick them up at the airport."

I nodded, feeling disappointed and sad. I knew I was being silly, but lately, we spent every awake moment together and I didn't like the idea of spending the whole evening and next day without him.

"I'll see you at the party," he promised.

He got up and looked at the other girls at the table. "Bye. See you tomorrow."

"Bye," the three answered.

I looked up at him, feeling a painful ball of panic growing in my chest. He came forward and bent down. He pressed his warm lips to my forehead and stayed glued to me for a while. I heard him inhale deeply before letting me go.

"We'll see each other soon, ok?" he said, not sure if he was talking to me or to himself.

I wondered if it was as hard for him to be away from me as it was for me.

I wanted to grab his hand and pull him back to me. I wanted to place both of my hands against his cheeks and kiss him. I wanted to brush my hands through his silky, pitch-black hair. But I couldn't.

I bit my lower lip and watched him walk away.

I decided I had to do something about my stupid power to spread every ridiculous thought and feelings I had through my hands. I thought about asking dad about it, but I worried he would know right away that it was to be able to touch my boyfriend. Dad wasn't happy I was seeing somebody. Maybe I should ask mom, even though she was different. She had to learn how to use her gift, not shutting it down like dad and I. And then it click, I should talk to Alice and Jasper.

I went back home after eating and decided to call home.

"Hey baby, how's your day going?" mom answered.

"It's ok. Jacob has friends visiting so he's busy." I said, noticing how pathetic I sounded.

Mom giggled. "You remind me of myself. It's good to have time apart, even if you miss him. Grandpa Charlie taught me that." She said.

It was always weird when mom mentioned Grandpa Charlie. I only knew him from pictures and stories. I had never met him and never would. He couldn't know what we were. He received pictures of me each year with a letter from mom. The pictures were old because Grandpa Charlie believed I was only ten years old. Mom had asked me once to draw a picture for him too. I remember drawing a picture of mom, dad and I laying on the roof of our cabin in Poland at night time to watch the stars. I loved that memory. I had brought my pillow and blanket with me, and my teddy bear, and I remembered feeling so safe and cozy and loved in between my parents. I had listened to dad name all the constellations while mom caressed my hair with so much care. I had fallen asleep up on the roof, feeling so happy.

"Did you listen to him, mom, when he said that to you?"

Mom laughed. "No, I didn't. But you should. You're so young and just experiencing everything for the first time. It might seem very intense because it's new, but you need to focus on yourself, baby."

"I'm only young in age, mom. I'm completely mature in mind and body. And... and I feel like I can't breathe when I'm not with him. It's like he's a part of me, and without him, I can't function," I blurted out with too much passion to be taken seriously. "Do you know what I mean, mom?"

She was silent for a while and I got scared. Did I say too much? Should I not have confessed how much I was attached to Jacob, even though we had known each other for only a few weeks? Was mom thinking that something was wrong with me?

"Yes, baby, I know what you mean." She finally said in a low voice.

"Are you upset?" I wondered out loud.

"No. Of course, not. It's just that I... I wasn't prepared for you to fall in love so soon. I hoped you would stay my baby for a little while longer."

In love? Did mom just say that I had fallen in love?

I thought about it quietly. Being near Jacob made me feel complete. Whenever we touched, I felt a happy, positive current rush through me. And I always missed him when we were apart. Actual pain through my chest as if no oxygen was reaching me.

Yes, I had fallen in love with him. I loved Jacob.

"Baby?" mom called. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about what you said. Things changed so fast, as usual. I was just processing everything."

"I know. Luckily, your brain process changes quickly too." she joked.

I smiled. I missed mom, and the whole family.

"Mom, is Alice home? I need to ask her something."

"Ah, that's why she's been bugging me since the phone rang. She's so impatient." Mom laughed. And then I heard a high pitch scream. I could only imagine aunt Alice tackling mom for making fun of her. I really did miss them.

But I missed Jacob more. And right now, I wanted to learn how I could hold hands with him, and touch him, without drowning him with my every thoughts and feelings. I wanted to be with him like a real couple. I wanted to tell him that I loved him.

**Thank you for reading and thanks for those of you who left me a review. It made me really happy :)**

**Some more boys from La Push are coming...  
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	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 8

Jen, Lily and I were getting ready to go to the party. It was about 7PM and I couldn't wait another minute. I needed to see Jacob. It'd been twenty-five hours since the last time I had seen him. We'd talked twice on the phone since yesterday. He had called me to say good-night and then, this morning, he called me again just to wish me a good day and to say he missed me.

I missed him too.

Lily and Jen were putting make-up on while I was anxiously pacing. I couldn't wait to see Jacob again, and I was nervous to meet his best friends.

"Red, stop fidgeting! You're making me dizzy!" Lily groaned

"Sorry," I mumbled.

I stopped walking but my fingers intertwined and nervously twisted around each other. I stared at my hands and thought about my conversation I had yesterday with Alice. She thought it would take a lot of practice to effectively control my gift. But I was determined and a very, very fast learner. And I had an extremely good motivation: Jacob.

I practiced last night and believed I had my power somewhat under control. The only thing was that any distraction could make me slip, and that couldn't happen. I had to be calm and focused, and I needed to ignore everything around me to be able to control my annoying gift.

I looked at my hands again and thought of how it would feel to have Jacob's large, warm hand wrapped over mine. I thought of how his soft skin would feel under my hands and a tight, burning ball built in my lower stomach at the thought.

"We need to get going. Now." I pressed my friends.

"Ok, Red, we're ready. Let's go." Jen reassured me.

I swiftly slipped into my black converse and Lily grabbed my arm before I had a chance to get out of the room.

"What?" I barked impatiently.

"You can't wear these," she said, pointing to my snickers.

"Yes, I can." I said, looking at Lily with confidence. An argument over fashion and dressing style was one thing I had experience over. And Lily was not scary compared to aunt Alice.

"The dress is cute. But the snickers don't go with it at all." She stated, as if she was the fashion police.

"These are my feet and I decide what goes on them." I stated calmly before eagerly heading out. The girls stayed shut and followed me.

The party was in Jacob's backyard, which was just behind the bar where he worked. The smell of charcoal and smoke perfumed the air.

I pushed the fence back to enter the backyard and scanned around. I noticed them immediately. There were three of them standing by the grill, chatting and laughing. I noticed the resemblance right away. They really looked like brothers. They had similar features. Their skin were the same beautiful auburn color. They were tall and muscular just like Jacob, and their cropped hair was as black as Jacob's. They were good-looking too. But nothing compared to Jacob.

"Nessie!" the perfect voice called from behind me. I turned around in a flash, just in time to see Jacob's smile spread over his glorious face while exiting his apartment, a plate of raw meat in his hand.

I stepped forward and found myself only millimeters from the man I loved. I inhaled the familiar, alluring scent and lost myself in his bright gaze. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his bare chest. His free arm held me closer and I felt his lips caressing the top of my head.

"I've missed you," I whispered into his chest, half hoping he wouldn't hear me.

"I've missed you more," he replied, squeezing me tightly against him before releasing me. He kissed my forehead and stared intensely into my eyes.

I felt fire built in me at the way he looked at me.

I loved him. I really did.

I focused on my own heartbeat and the flow of my blood, focusing on these natural senses before stretching my hand towards Jacob and taking hold of his free hand.

The warmth and tingles quickly spread through me at our touch. I was holding Jacob's hand. I concentrated on keeping every thought and feelings in me.

I looked up at him. His eyes were wide open with surprise and glee. He searched my eyes, immobile.

I squeezed his hand, happiness flourishing in me at the sensation of my hand in his, and giggled at his expression.

"Come on, Jacob. Don't you want to introduce me to your friends."

He stared at me a microsecond more before relaxing and smiling back at me. He wrapped his hand around mine, engulfing my whole hand in his gigantic one. It felt like softness and heat, safety and home.

"They're over there," he said, motioning to the other side of the backyard. He pulled me gently near them.

"Hey guys," Jacob said when we approached the three huge men. " I have somebody I would like you to meet."

They quieted right away and turned around to look at us. I felt my muscles tense automatically under their scrutiny and instantly, I felt Jacob rubbing his thumb gently over the back of my hand, providing me with comfort and courage.

They all smiled brightly at me, genuinely pleased to meet me. One of them glanced at our intertwined hands before discreetly smirking at Jacob. Jacob grinned widely and pulled me closer to him.

"This is Renesmee." he said with so much pride that I blushed. "Nessie, this is Quil, Embry and Seth."

I returned their smiles. "Hi," I said.

The smaller one of them practically jumped on me and hugged me strongly. "It's so nice to meet you! I'm so glad for the two of you. It's so nice to see Jacob happy." He babbled excitedly.

I literally felt my heart grow at his words. I felt so relieved that his friends approved of me, and to know that _I_ was making Jacob happy was the best feeling in the world.

"Seth, let go of my girlfriend!" Jacob growled, half laughing, half serious. Quil and Embry burst out laughing at Jacob's jealousy.

Seth let go of me and apologized for the outburst. "Jake, don't worry. I have my own imp- girl at home. I won't steal yours."

"Well nobody could steal me away from Jacob anyway!" I retorted, embracing Jacob strongly and leaning against his side, his arm automatically wrapping over me, pressing me closer against him.

"Hmmm, that's good to know," Jacob said, caressing my arms lightly, sparkling blissful shivers along my body.

Embry rolled his eyes and grabbed the large plate that Jacob was still carrying. Quil helped him place the raw meat on the grill. While placing a hotdog on the grill, he looked at me with humor.

"I hope you like hot dogs?" he joked.

I frowned, not sure what the joke was. Jacob punched him in the arm.

"Quil! Stop it!"

"Oh come on, it was funny! Hot. Dog."

"Quil, not now, not yet." Embry said under his breath and I don't think I was supposed to hear it.

Jacob looked at me apologetically. "Ignore him," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Hi, guys," Lily interrupted, walking towards all of us, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Hey, Lily, thanks for coming." Jacob said politely. "These are my friends from back home. Guys, this is Lily, Nessie's roommate."

"Hi," she said seductively. The guys answered politely and went back to taking care of the food.

Lily pouted and grabbed me by the arm. "Red, Emma just got here and she's really upset. Kevin just broke up with her."

I felt shaky at the sudden news, selfishly thinking about my own relationship. Emma and Kevin had been together for just a few days more than Jacob and I. They'd seemed happy. They even had told each other that they loved each other, unlike Jacob and I. They had kissed, and had slept together. And now it was over. Just like that.

I glanced at Jacob and my heart contracted painfully, beating erratically in my suffocating chest. I was afraid Jacob would break-up with me one day. I wouldn't be able to bear the pain.

Jacob glanced at me with worry and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You're okay, Ness?"

I nodded. "I... I have to go see Emma. She's not doing well. I'll be back."

"Oh, okay," he pouted.

Lily and I rushed toward the bench under a tree, where Jen and Emma were talking. Emma's eyes were red and puffy. She told us how Kevin broke up with her and we tried to comfort her as much as possible. She started crying again and I went to get some napkins for her when I heard my name being mentioned on the other side of the backyard. I couldn't resist eavesdropping a little. Like dad said, there were some advantages in being vampires, well, half-vampires in my case. So I used my acute hearing to listen to what Jacob was talking about with his brothers.

"Jake, I'm sorry about the stupid joke. But in all honesty, Nessie is your imprint and she should know who you are." Quil said.

"You think I don't know that. I will tell her. Soon. But don't hint to anything until I'm ready. It won't help." Jake hissed back.

"You know, Jake, I was scared shitless to tell Carolie about it. But one thing I can promise is that she will accept it and that she won't leave you. Imprinting goes both ways. She loves you as much as you love her," Seth stated.

I almost tripped over the table. I was speechless and utterly confused by what I was hearing. Imprints. Secrets. Love. What was all that about?

Seth words resonated in my head. _She loves you as much as you love her. _How did he know how I felt? Did he have a power like uncle Jasper? And was it true? Did Jacob love me as much as I loved him?

I stared at him, my eyes wandering over his beautiful, muscular, tanned body, and thought about how he acted around me. The smiles, the caresses, the bright shine in his eyes every time he looked at me. I remembered his voice from earlier: _my girlfriend. _There had been so much passion, so much pride.

Suddenly, I sensed my body ignite and I looked up. Across the yard, Jacob's eyes were glued on me and our gazes locked. I welcomed the blissful shivers that awakened my insides.

I smiled at him and he grinned back, stars in his eyes.

Seth was right. I didn't care what kind of secret he had. I would never leave him. And I really, really hoped that he felt the same about me, because my secret was for sure worst than his.

I grabbed a few napkins from the table and headed back to where the girls were. I handed them to Emma, who was sniffing sadly.

Emma ended up leaving the party early and Jacob and his friends joined us at the bench, food in hands.

"Eat while you can. Soon there'll be nothing left." Jacob warned.

"I think you guys made enough food for a whole village," I retorted, looking at the large amount of burgers and hotdogs they had.

Jabob put two hotdogs on my plate quickly. "If you think I eat a lot, you'll be shocked by these three!" He said, pointing to his friends, who were already swallowing their food as if they hadn't fed in centuries.

"Oh, I see, you're all starving ogres in La Push." I laughed.

"Yeah my wife complains all the time about my never-ending hunger!" Embry said, his mouth full.

"That's why you're all big and strong," Lily complimented, scooting closer to Quil.

Quil looked uncomfortably at Jacob's, who smirked at the scene.

"What does your wife say about your hunger?" Lily asked Quil, leaning close.

Quil pulled back a little. "I'm not married."

Lily's smile grew. "Oh, well, you know, I'm a great cook and I love to watch a man eat."

Jacob and Embry started laughing. I elbowed Jacob so he could stop enjoying his friend's unease and actually help him out.

Jacob looked at me, a happy grin on his face. The smile was different than the ones he usually gave me. This was also a beautiful and happy grin, but it was because he was with his friends. His family.

"Help your brother," I whispered.

A glint shone in his eyes. He placed his hand on my back and gently rubbed my back. It felt so nice.

He turned around and looked at Quil.

"So how's Claire doing? Can she finally cook for you?" Jacob asked

Quil's face lit up at the mention of the girl. "She begged Emily to teach her how to make baked ziti the other day because she heard me say I hadn't had it in a while and I wanted some. She always wants to make me happy. It's like she doesn't get it that as long as she's happy, I'll be the happiest man on Earth."

Quil smiled brightly, obviously still thinking about this girl named Claire. Lily had moved back a little while he was talking, understanding that Quil was completely taken and that he was absolutely not interested in her.

Lily looked at Jen and motioned to leave. They got up and said bye.

"I miss Claire. And Emily," Jacob said, melancholy in his voice. "I miss everybody."

The guys face turned serious and the four of them just stared at each other for a while, full of unspoken emotions.

I felt like an intruder and was debating on getting up and giving them space.

"We missed you too, Jake. I'm glad you're back," Seth said.

"Me too," Jake said, grabbing the side of my waist, as if he knew that I was about to leave.

He turned to me, so much emotion in his eyes. "It's thanks to Nessie that I'm back," he stated. My heart sped at the fervor in his voice and the depth in his eyes. He lent forward, his gaze burning mine.

"You brought me back to my senses, you know that?" He whispered. I couldn't move, dazzled by him. He kissed my forehead. "You brought me back to life, Nessie." he breathed the words on me, shivers and warmth mixing blissfully on my skin.

My heart was speeding like crazy and my brain had a hard time remembering to breathe. The tip of his nose trailed down from my forehead to my nose, leaving on its path pure fire. I pressed my head against his, our forehead glued together, and the tip of our noses gently touching. Our lips were so close and yet so far.

I heard movements around us when the others left but I didn't linger to see where they were going. I was quickly drawn back to the loud stomps of Jacob's heart.

I could feel Jacob's breath fanning over my face and I could even taste his scent of my tongue. I wanted to taste more.

"Jacob," I managed to say.

"Hmm?" he said, his hands moving up to frame my face.

I grabbed his t-shirt and pulled him closer, unable to wait another second. I pressed my lips against his. Jacob instantly kissed me back, our lips finding a wonderful dance of their own.

Perfection.

I came out for air, still holding on tightly to his shirt, my lips still against his.

My entire body was on fire, sparkling with joy and desire. I felt so good and happy.

"I love you, Jacob" I confessed.

I felt his smile spread against my own lips. He kissed me again with fervor.

" I love you too, Nessie."

I felt light-headed and finally rooted. I felt whole and alive. I belonged somewhere. I belonged with Jacob.

I encircled my arms around his neck and pulled him back to me. I kissed him and kissed him again.

This was the best feeling ever.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 9

I woke up from a long, peaceful sleep full of amazing dreams, feeling light and rested and bizarrely feeling really hot. I could feel sweat dripping down my forehead. I opened my eyes only to be completely disoriented. I wasn't in my dorm room. I adjusted my sight and saw two large bodies spread on the floor, snoring loudly. I could feel a cozy hot weight over my body, and a pleasant burn in my hand. I looked at my hand to see Jacob's hand intertwined with mine. I smiled at the sight and quietly turned around to face him.

Jacob was sleeping soundly, shirtless and magnificent. His deep breath fanned my face while his steady heartbeat sent light vibration from his chest to me, who was so close to him on the small couch of his living room. I sighed in pure happiness. I had never dreamed of anything more perfect than this: sleeping in the arms of the man I loved.

I rested my head back down on top of his smooth hot arm. My face was so close to him that I nuzzled against his throat and inhaled deeply the sweet scent of Jacob. A faint burn ignited in my throat. The lack of feeding was making me too thirsty. I quickly swallowed the influx of saliva and inhaled again. The woodsy scent was intoxicating. Jacob smelled so nice. I pressed my lips against his throat and gently kissed him. I parted my lips a little and tentatively let my tongue caress his flesh. My body was on fire with yearning and the fire settled down low in me.

Jacob moaned in his sleep at my wet kiss and his hand pressed against my back, pulling me even closer to him. I was hyperventilating, overwhelmed with these new desires boiling in me. I tried to ignore my body's plea to release this burning fire.

I watched Jacob sleep until I finally felt myself drift back to sleep.

When I woke up again, I felt a little chilly by the lack of Jacob's heat. I stirred and turned around. I noticed I was alone on the couch.

I heard Jacob's voice coming from the kitchen and felt an urge to run toward that husky, attractive sound. But I heard Lily's judging voice talk back to him and decided to listen first.

"What game are you playing with her?"

"Lily, I'm not playing. I love her. Truly and forever." Jacob said.

My heart accelerated at these words. Was it possible that I'd found my true love, my soul mate? And that he felt the exact same for me.

"I know who you are. I've heard many stories about you from friends."

There was silence. Jacob didn't reply.

"I won't let you use Red the way you used others," Lily continued. "Red is different. She's special."

I felt a whole new kind of affection for Lily. I could hear the protection that she felt towards me.

"I know she is. Lily, I will never hurt her. She... She put me back together. She healed me. I was a mess before she came into my life. I felt like a nobody, like I didn't belong anywhere. I had this horrible hole in me and I didn't know how to get rid of it. So I did what I did. I screwed around with girls because it made me forget for those short instants the pain and the loneliness. I know I was a jerk and I know I'm not good enough for her. But I love her, and as long as she loves me, I will be there for her."

My breath hitched and a tear rolled down my cheek before I realized I was crying. I swiftly wiped my tear away and got up. I readjusted my dress and hurried to the kitchen. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to let him know that he was more than I deserved. I wanted to show him that I didn't judge him for his past actions. I wanted to reassure him that I loved him as much, and even more, than he loved me.

As soon as I entered the kitchen, two pair of eyes stared at me. I immediately approached Jacob, who was sitting at the table across from Lily. I couldn't help but notice that Lily was wearing a man's shirt and no pants. I frowned, confused.

She looked away from me and took a sip of her coffee.

Jacob's gaze was intensely on me. I smiled wide at seeing him again and he grinned back.

"Good morning, Nessie."

Without hesitation, I sat on Jacob's lap and instantly felt his muscular arms wrap around me warmly.

" Did you sleep well?" he asked, his breath tickling my ear.

I shivered and he tightened his hold. My body completely relaxed into his warmth and I settled against his chest.

"Best sleep I ever had," I replied.

He pressed his lips to the top of my head and whispered: "Me too."

I turned my face to stare at him, his eyes once again shining with so much joy. I concentrated on keeping my emotions on check before placing my pale hands on each of his cheeks. My heart sped with both anticipation and desire. Our eyes locked before I lent forward, sealing our lips into a tender kiss.

"So what exactly happened last night?" I finally asked, looking both at Lily and Jacob.

"We watched a movie and you fell asleep." Jacob answered.

"Okay, that explains why I was on the couch and that I slept in my dress. But what about you, Lily."

"What do you mean?" She asked defensively. "We all watched the movie together. And I was tired too. So I slept over as well."

I nodded, looking at her and then Jacob. Something was off. I knew it. But I couldn't tell what it was.

"Embry and Seth passed out on the floor. I saw them when I woke up. What about Quil? Where is he?" I asked.

Lily jumped up and went to the sink. She started washing her cup and that's when it dawned on me.

"You slept with Quil?"

At that instant, we all heard a loud scream in the living room and we rushed over.

Embry was sitting on the floor, rubbing his side, and looked really annoyed.

"Can't you look where you're walking for once!" he yelled at Quil.

"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know you were sleeping on the floor like a stray dog."

Embry leaped up and pounced towards Quil who quickly backed away.

"Well better be a dog than a pig!" Embry retorted.

The noise woke up Seth as well, who drowsily got up and sat on the couch.

Lily rushed to the bedroom without glancing at anybody.

Quil punched Embry with force. They were both trembling with anger.

Jacob came in front of me as to protect me. "Stop it, now!" Jacob ordered with so much authority that the two men froze. "Let's not break my apartment here."

The two guys took a deep breath and calmed down. Jacob's flexed muscles relaxed a little and he approached them. He put a comforting hand on Quil's shaking shoulder. Quil brushed it off and ran out of the apartment.

I stood by the kitchen door, observing the scene from afar. Lily came out of the room dressed and passed by me, giving me an apologetical look, and left.

"What happened?" Seth asked.

"Quil slept with Lily," Jacob said.

"Oh," Seth answered, full of sorrow. "I'll go and talk to him."

"I'm coming with you," Embry said.

They both left in the same direction as their friend. Jacob turned around and looked at me. His body was still tense. I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around him, squeezing them lovingly into a tight hug. He sighed and rested his head on top of mine.

"I'm sorry for all of this," he said.

I shook my head. "It's not your fault."

"Do you wanna go too? Your friend needs you," I asked.

He shook his head. "No. I want to stay with you."

"Okay," I whispered.

We sat on the couch and cuddled in silence.

After a while, I broke the silence, still thinking about what happened earlier.

"How could he do that? He... he seemed so in love with this Claire when he talked about her," I said.

"He loves Claire. More than anything in the world. She's his soul mate."

"I don't understand," I confessed, feeling naive and young once again.

"It's complicated."

"I want to know, Jacob. I want to understand." I stated, facing Jacob with determination.

"He's loved her since the first time he laid eyes on her. She's his universe."

"So how could he cheat on her?"

He shook his head. "He didn't cheat on her. Claire is not his girlfriend. She's only thirteen. She's too young." He explained, looking at me with sad eyes. I had a weird feeling he was not only talking about her. I wondered if he thought I was too young for him.

"But she's his imprint?" I asked hesitantly.

He stared at me with surprise and fear. He nodded with precaution.

"Like Carolie is Seth's imprint?" He nodded again, watching me with doubt, as if I would freak out any moment.

"What does that mean?" I whispered.

"It's similar to love at first sight," he vaguely explained.

I stared at him, incapable of asking my next question. I wanted to know if I were his imprint. But I was too afraid of his answer. I couldn't let myself to ask him. He stared straight back at me with fervor. I thought he wanted to tell me more but he didn't speak.

He examined me, looking at my hair, my face, my hands, and finally meeting my eyes. I felt such a fuzzy feeling when his eyes traveled over my body.

"Wanna go for breakfast?" he asked instead, breaking the intense electricity between the two of us.

I nodded and we both got up. He placed his hand against my lower back and led me out. I could feel his concerned glances towards me. I looked at him and smiled. His other hand came up to my face and cupped my cheek. I rejoiced in the blissful feeling of his skin against mine.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded and bit my lower lip. He looked at me with a strange look.

"What?" I said.

"You remind me of someone I once knew when you do that," he said.

"I hope it was somebody you liked," I teased, trying to ease the tension in the air.

He laughed softly. "Yes, I did... at first."

"You're first girlfriend?"

He pulled me to him with passion and gazed straight into my eyes. " I never had a girlfriend before you," he breathed with honesty.

My breath hitched and I felt weak in my knees. He grinned widely, pleased with the reaction.

"Good, cuz you're my first boyfriend too," I said lightly, trying to hide the pure giddiness I felt in knowing I was his first girlfriend.

I gave him a quick kiss and continued walking. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me to the diner.

After I forced myself to eat some food even though I felt completely disgusted, we headed back to my room.

We had just reached the campus, when I noticed Jacob reached for my hand. Taken by surprise, I quickly clamped my hand into a ball and pull it away from him.

He brushed his hand into his long, silky hair and sighed heavily before looking at me.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, worried that he was mad.

"Nessie, we slept holding hands."

My heart skipped a beat.

"Was it okay?"

He smiled and nodded.

I felt my brow knit in confusion.

"What…How did it feel?" I asked nervously.

He stared at me, searching my eyes for something. I bit my lip again and waited.

"It felt amazing, Nessie. I felt so close to you."

I swallowed with difficulty. He felt close to me.

His hands both framed my face and he stepped mere inches from me. He tilted my head up and his eyes bore into mine. I felt dizzy.

"Nessie, I love you, all of you." He vowed.

I stared at him, trying to understand what he was saying.

"Why?" I asked, incredulous.

"Because I'm meant for you. Because you're my imprint."

**Thank you for the amazing reviews :) **

**I guess I'm greedy because I wouldn't mind having more. lol  
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	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 10

We walked hand in hand in the cool air of November. I was happy. More than happy. I was feeling like everything was where it was supposed to be and everything made perfect sense.

I was his imprint.

I didn't need to understand the meaning behind that strange word. I knew the feeling well enough. We had felt the connection the instant we had seen each other. Love at first-sight. We were meant for each other. We belonged together. Just like everybody else in my family, I had found the one who completed me, my other half, my true love. My mate.

I smiled widely and looked up to _my Jacob. He grinned back at me inquisitively._

"What?"

"I love you."

He pulled me near and turned around so that we were facing each other. He grabbed me and lifted me up until we were eye level. Instinctively, I braced my arms tightly around his neck. Jacob leaned forward and kissed me.

"You are my world, Nessie." He whispered heavily. "I love you."

I kissed him back and I felt his strong arms tighten its grip around my waist.

He put me back down, the most charming grin on his face and reached for my hand once again. We continued walking toward my dorm and finally arrived.

I looked at him, a pout on my face.

He laughed lightly and brought me to him, close against his burning chest.

"I'll see you first thing in the morning. I have to bring the boys back to the airport tonight, ok?"

I nodded against his chest. "I know. I'll see you in the morning."

Jacob bent his knees down and lowered himself to face me. He placed his finger under my chin and lifted my head up so I would meet his eyes.

I smiled at the love in his stare.

"I'll miss you," he said.

"I'll miss you too."

His large hands caressed my cheeks and slowly led me towards him. He kissed me softly, with so much adoration and tenderness that my knees buckled under the shivers.

"Good night," he said before straightening up.

"Uhmm... yeah... good night." I mumbled, losing track of my thoughts and unable of saying a proper sentence.

Jacob giggled and tucked a wild strand of hair behind my ear.

"Well, see you tomorrow bright and early," I said once my brain was functioning again. I turned around and entered the building. I could still feel the fiery stare of Jacob follow me until I reached the stairs.

I went to sleep, full of glee and love.

Everything was perfect.

An extremely rapid succession of knocks on my door tore me out of my dreams. I took one sniff and I knew who it was. I jumped out of bed with excitement and ran to open the door.

I hugged mom instantly. Cold comfort. She wrapped her solid arms around me and held me tight to her undead heart. She leaned to kiss my forehead. I noticed the slight frown that she hid and how her muscles flexed for a fraction of a second.

"What's wrong?" I asked alarmed.

"Nothing, honey. We just wanted to see you. We miss you so much."

I looked at my aunts standing back and then looked back at my mom. It felt like forever that I hadn't been with my family.

"I missed you too. So much." I exclaimed, feeling tears in my eyes.

Mom dried my eyes and gave me another kiss on the forehead. Then Alice took me into a tight hug. Rose stopped me when I tried to approach her.

"Sorry sweety, but the stench is too much to handle. I can't hug you right now." She explained bluntly.

I gasped at her harshness and took a handful of hair and smelled it.

"Rose," my mom warned.

"I don't smell," I said defensively.

Alice braced a tiny steel arm around me. "Well, you do a little, but it's not that bad. Maybe you should take a shower before we go out."

"I don't smell!" I exclaimed again, baffled by their insults.

"Baby, just get ready. We're meeting the others up north for a fun day hunting."

"And then we'll play baseball," Alice added. "The weather's perfect for it."

I turned around and gathered my clothes and shower products. I quickly grabbed my phone to inform Jacob of the change of plans. I was surprised when I found a text from him instead.

_Have to cancel our plans. Can't see you today._

I frowned at his message. There was no "hi", no "I love you", no "I'll miss you".

It didn't sound like Jacob at all.

"Everything's okay," mom asked. She had come closer to me. Rose and Alice were sitting on my bed. Lily was still sleeping in her own bed.

I shrugged and forced a smile. Mom's beautiful face wrinkled slightly as she looked at me with concern.

"What is it, baby?"

"Jacob canceled our plans for the day."

"That's perfect. Like this you don't have to be the one to cancel." Aunt Rose said cheerfully.

"Yeah, that's true." I said, hiding my anguish.

I walked out to the hallway and into the shower room. I took my phone out again and stared at the text.

I had a bad feeling nudging at me from the inside.

I dialed Jacob's number and waited. It rang seven times before his voicemail picked up. I sighed in disappointment and left a quick message.

"Good morning Jacob. I just saw your message. Is everything okay? My family just showed up. I will spend the day with them. Maybe you'll have some time later to come over and meet them. Call me back so I know you're okay. Love you."

I took a shower, feeling heavy and worried. I couldn't remember if I had shampooed my hair because my mind kept on wandering, thinking about what could have happened with Jacob to make him cancel so abruptly, without even an explanation.

I washed my hair again and scrubbed my body hard, trying to get rid of whatever smell my family seemed sensitive about. Then I got dressed and checked my phone for any missed calls. None. I bit my lower lip hard and went back to my room to join the family.

They were already waiting for me in the hallway. Aunt Alice had my purse and I was sure she had taken my keys and my wallets.

"Let's go! Jasper just called me and the boys are already on their way to the mountain." Alice said with glee.

"How come they didn't come here too?" I asked.

"Oh, they had something to do first. Apparently it was a "men" thing," Rose said with annoyance.

Mom smiled at me and came to take my hand. "Feeling better?"

I freed my hand out of her hold, trying to be subtle. Of course, mom noticed. I bit my lip nervously and buried my hands into my jeans pockets.

"I'm fine," I said, giving her a faint smile. "I... I just need some inner privacy." I felt sorry to say that to my mom. I knew it was hard for her to see me grow so fast. "Is it okay with you?"

She nodded and gave me a small smile too. "Of course, honey. Everyone needs privacy. But you know you can tell me anything you want. I'm here for you."

"I know, mom. You've always been here for me."

I gave her a small squeeze with my hand to show her how much I was grateful for having such a great mom and I sent my love for her.

Mom's smile grew. "I'll shield you from dad too, if you want. Dad likes to pry sometimes."

Aunt Rose snickered. "Edward needs to learn about inner privacy. You know what I do to keep him out of my head?" We all nodded. We all knew about the images she showed dad. He hated seeing his siblings in "compromising positions", as he would say.

"I'm not going to show dad images of me with Jacob!" I exclaimed, horrified.

Alice glanced at mom quickly, too fast for a human to have noticed.

"Did you and Jacob ever do anything?" Alice asked curiously.

I blushed instantly.

"Oh, Renesmee, you're such a prude! Just like your mom used to be! Come on, share with us. We want to know!" Rose pressured.

We reached the car and all settled in. Aunt Rose was driving and I sensed her demanding golden glare on me. She was looking at me expectantly through the mirror, still waiting for me to answer the question.

"Well, on Friday, we... we kissed for the first time." I could feel my face glow. I felt ridiculously happy again, just thinking about Jacob and our first kiss.

I noticed both of my aunts' faces distort into a grimace. I glared.

"What?"

Alice shook off her expression and smiled. "It's just hard to imagine our ten year old baby kissing a...a…"

"boy." mom finished the sentence, placing a loving hand on my lap.

I took my phone out again and checked for any missed calls once again. Still nothing.

Mom squeezed my leg with comfort. She knew I was worried about Jacob.

Rose was driving at high speed and we reached the mountain in a few minutes. Dad, uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett were waiting for us.

"Hey munchkin, how's the free life away from home?" Emmett joked before giving me one of his gigantic bear hugs.

"Freedom is good. But I have nobody to wrestle with anymore," I replied with a laugh.

Jasper patted my head and showered me with his feeling of happiness at seeing me again. Dad looked at me with love and tenderness and I ran to him and jumped in his arms.

"Dad, I missed you!"

He wrapped his long arms around me and I felt invincible in my dad's arms.

"I missed you too, darling."

Rose walked to her husband and then pushed him away. "Uh, you too you smell! I'm not getting closer until you take a shower."

Emmett laughed. "Come on, rejoice in the smell of victory. The big wolf was just a lone scared little dog." He whispered low, as if he didn't want me to hear.

Mom glanced at dad with a look that I had never seen her give dad before: anger. Then she looked at me with a hint of pity. Or was it concern. I wasn't sure.

"Who's ready for food?" Alice chirped. "I had visions of a moose a few miles northeast of here."

"No, it's Thanksgiving soon. Let's find some turkey!" Emmett exclaimed and started making the gobbling sound of turkeys.

Jasper shoved him. "Shut up, Em." Emmett leaped to tackle Jasper but he was already running up the mountain. We all started laughing.

It felt good to be with my family.

We headed up and each started concentrating on the sounds and smells of the wilderness. I sniffed a sweet smell coming from the West and followed the scent until I heard the regular beating of a heart. The saliva influx poured into my mouth and the flames enraged inside my throat. I was extremely thirsty.

I lurked closer and had a pristine vision of my prey. I was ready to bounce on it when my phone rang. Immediately, the animal heard the sound and escaped.

I reached out for my phone quickly, feeling relieved to hear it ring at last.

I open the incoming text message and as soon as relief had come it was gone again. It was Jen, asking me what was the assignment for our intro to sociology.

I looked for any other messages but there were none. I checked again for missed calls but nobody had called me.

I decided to try Jacob again before I hunt. I listened to the phone ring the seven times and then listened to his recorded voice prompting me to leave him a message.

"Hey, Jacob, it's me again. Please call me. Bye."

I hung up and plopped on the ground. All desire to feed was gone.

Where was Jacob?

I didn't like this feeling that was growing in me like a warning for something bad to come. My heart felt constraint and my chest felt torn into opposite directions. I was hurting.

After a while, I heard my family gather and chat. They were done feeding. I forced my self up and walked to them.

"Hey baby," mom said when she saw me approaching. "Did you find anything good?"

I shrugged. "A red fox."

Emmett burst out laughing. "Oh no! You ate your cousin, foxy lady?"

I smiled at my immature uncle. "So did anyone find a moose?"

"Unfortunately no. I was really looking forward to it." Dad said.

"Well if we had come earlier, like I had suggested, the moose would've still been here." Alice nagged.

"Well, let's get clean up and then what about an plain all-American baseball game," mom said to change the topic.

Everybody cheered and started walking to the jeep.

Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me tight. "It's nice to see you, princess."

I smiled back. "It's nice to be with all of you. It's like nothing changed." I said, suddenly my heart skipping a beat at that thought. So much had changed since the last time I had seen my parents. I had made friends. I had become independent. I had fallen in love.

But suddenly it felt like none of it had ever happened, as if it had only been a dream, as if it hadn't been real.

Jacob wasn't even anywhere to be found.

Dad looked at me with concern. "Are you feeling okay?"

I nodded again.

He touched my cheek with his freezing hand and frowned.

"Your temperature is lower than usual and your skin tone is a little pale. Are you sure you're feeling well?"

I sighed. "Well, dad, I'm half human, and sometimes humans get tired, that's all. Especially when you get woken up at six in the morning on a Sunday." I complained

Mom grabbed dad's hand and pulled him to her so I would get some peace. I was grateful for mom's way. Dad reluctantly followed mom ahead of me. He turned around and gave me a stern look.

"You should feed more often. You're getting weak."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine, dad."

I heard Rose whisper behind me. "Doesn't she sound just like Bella? _I'm fine. Everything's fine._"

I ignored everybody and went back to thinking about Jacob. Jacob that I haven't heard from in almost 24h. I checked my phone again. No missed calls. No messages.

I groaned in frustration and shoved my phone back in my purse. Mom turned around to glance at me with sorry eyes. I saw her quickly share a look with the others and then looked down to the ground as if rebuked.

I sat in the back of the car in silence. Mom sat next to me. I laid my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. I wanted today to be over. Mom gently brushed my long curly hair and pressed her marble cheek against the top of my head.

I discreetly placed my hand over hers.

_I miss him. Why isn't he calling me? _I confessed full of grief.

Mom kissed my forehead with love, holding me tightly to her.

"Everything will be okay, Renesmee." She whispered.

I inhaled deeply and repeated her words in my head a few times before falling asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

_HELLO EVERYONE. I hope that everybody is safe after hurricane Irene passing by. The tropical storm on the East coast provided me with time to write, so here's a short chapter... Enjoy and stay dry :) And PLEASE review. Thank you!_

chapter 11

I woke up in the morning and felt more tired than when I had gone to bed. I hadn't really slept. I had woken up many times in a state of panic, as if I'd lost or forgot something important. I'd felt like something was missing and I couldn't think of what it was.

Mom, who had stayed next to me all night, had soothed me and brushed my hair with affection.

I opened my eyes to see both of my parents talking in rapid hush. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Both of them promptly quieted and looked at me when I shifted in my bed. They both smiled at me but something about their expressions made me wary. I looked at them and suddenly felt that weird nudging inside that gave me a bad feeling.

Lily walked into the room, with wet hair and only a towel around her perfect figure. She eyed dad discreetly and then looked at me.

"Good morning, Red! I didn't know your brother was coming up." She said before turning to dad. "Hi, Edward."

He bowed his head slightly before his eyes returned to me.

"Are you hungry, Renesmee? Why don't we go out for breakfast?" Dad suggested.

I shrugged. "Okay," I mumbled while getting out of bed.

Dad and mom exchanged another look. I knew they were worried to see me upset, but I didn't even have energy to pretend I was okay. I couldn't hide the sadness.

I checked my phone and felt a pang searing through me. No messages. No missed calls. Nothing.

I got ready then my parents and I left my room.

"Do you want to go to the cafeteria or go for a hunt?" dad asked.

"I'm not really hungry, dad. The fox was enough for a few days."

Dad sighed heavily and swept his hand into his hair with frustration. He stepped closer and placed his cold loving hands on each of my shoulders. He looked intensely into my eyes with that serious fatherly look.

"Baby, I understand that right now you're feeling sad because your...," he took a deep breath before finishing his sentence. "your _boyfriend hasn't called you, but your wellbeing cannot be dependent on a boy."_

I gasped and pushed his hands off of me.

"Are you already assuming that it's over between Jacob and me?"

Dad stayed still, and his silence broke me.

"He... he loves me," I cried, shaking my head with denial.

He couldn't just leave me. After all we shared. After everything he confessed.

I was his imprint, his love, his everything, he had said. Was it all a lie?

I thought of his gentle caresses, the way his arms always tightened to keep me close, the devotion in his eyes. I thought of our kisses.

I heard a groan and noticed dad's clenching jaw and his narrowed eyes.

I looked over at mom with panic. "MOM! I thought you were shielding me!"

Mom's eyes widened and she mouthed "sorry".

"Yes, he lied." Dad said between clenched teeth. Dad's words felt like a knife stab straight through me. "Men know what girls want to hear. They use it to get what they want."

I shook my head vehemently. "Not him," I mumbled. _Not him._

Mom came over and hugged me. Dad's eyes softened when he saw my eyes fill with tears. He came over to us and wrapped his arms around his two girls.

The rest of the clan joined us later and we talked until sundown, when they finally all climbed into their respective cars and drove away.

Mom and dad didn't want to leave me alone. But I had looked sternly at them and promised I was fine. I reminded them that I was strong and that I was used to changes. I would cope easily, I had told them. They had still begged to stay and when I refused, they'd asked for me to go back home with them. I refused too. I wanted to stay here and finish my year.

I wanted to stay here and be near him, even if he didn't want me.

Once I couldn't hear the smooth motor of their cars, I walked up to my room heavily. I checked my phone again in vain. Why wasn't he calling back?

I plumped into my bed and cried.

I let all the tears I'd been holding back for the past two days roll down my face. I let the burning pain in my chest explode through my heart. I pulled my pillow over my face and screamed my agony into it, my fingers digging holes into the fabric. I heaved and cried and screamed until I had nothing left in me. I was empty, a big wrenching hole of broken hell.

I couldn't move and curled up, hugging my legs up to my chest, trying to hold on to the meager little crumbs of me that were still here.

I dozed off after a while and when I woke up again, all the girls were there. I was already reaching for my phone when they noticed I was awake. They came over to me. I looked at my phone. Nothing.

I let my head fall back down on the mattress.

"He's a jerk," Lily said.

"He doesn't know what he's missing," Emma said.

"You deserve someone much better," Jen said.

I shook my head. I knew they were trying to cheer me up, but it didn't help to tell lies. He wasn't a jerk. And he wasn't missing anything of importance to him. And he's the one who deserved someone better.

"I wasn't good enough for him," I croaked and my three friends hushed me tenderly.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Red," Jen promised.

I didn't believe her.

"We brought movies and chocolate," Emma said with a shy smile.

Lily plopped on the bed next to me and showed me the dvd's. " We have Thelma&Louise, Charlie's Angels, and Tomb Raider."

I stared at the pictures of strong women on the cover of the dvds. I didn't say anything.

Despite my lack of interest, they put on one of the movies and watched it in silence, passing around chocolate chips cookies, ice cream and M&Ms. I didn't eat anything and didn't follow the movie.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I took my phone out and called Jacob again. No answer. I didn't leave a message.

I went back in the room and curled up in bed again. The girls looked at me with sympathy but didn't say anything.

When the movie ended, it was late and we all went to bed.

I didn't sleep. I thought about each seconds I had spent with Jacob. I analyzed his words, his gestures, each glances and pauses. Nothing betrayed that he was lying.

Late the following morning, Lily begged me to go and eat with the girls at the cafeteria. I shook my head. I wasn't hungry and I couldn't move. After trying unsuccessfully to get me to go with them, she gave up and left to eat.

I checked my phone again. I read his last text message again and cried.

What if something bad happened to him? What if he was hurting in a hospital and I didn't know about it? What if he had to go back home because someone died? What if he had an accident?

What if I was wallowing in my room when he needed me?

My heart was racing with worry and fear. I grabbed the phone and called again. This time I left a voicemail.

"Please just let me know you're alive or I'll start visiting all the hospitals in this state. I need to know you're okay, Jacob."

I hung up and waited anxiously. Twenty minutes later, my phone vibrated. I had an incoming message.

_I'm alive. Stop calling._

Sweet relief and pure agony mixed at once. I felt my fear sip away, leaving place only to the atrocious, searing pain that tore at my insides. I stared blankly at the words in on the screen. It was all becoming blurry. I couldn't breathe and I started to feel dizzy. My body shook with sorrow and I felt my heart disappearing into a burning black hole.

Jacob didn't want me.

Jacob didn't love me.

I was utterly empty. I stared at the wall, curled up into a frozen ball and stayed still until dark dreams pulled me into sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Important: I changed the rating from T to M...

CHAPTER 12

Time passed and the pain didn't dissipate like those lying sayings. Time didn't heal. Time only hurt and made the horrible truth scar my shattered heart.

I never heard from Jacob again, and he didn't want me to call him.

_I'm alive. Stop calling._

These were his parting words. The last thing that the man I loved said to me. And I didn't try to change his mind. I never called again.

I had stopped crying on the third day. I couldn't cry anymore. My eyes were constantly red and swollen. I had barely left my bed and I had missed a few classes. The only times I pretended to feel okay was when my family called to check on me. I knew they would come and take me home if they knew how I was. And I couldn't leave. I needed to be here, close to him. Even after I knew he had lied to me. Even now that I knew he didn't love me. My heart needed his proximity to continue to beat, no matter how painful each heartbeat felt.

Lily, Jen and Emma entered the room. I turned my back to them and closed my eyes.

"Red, we have to talk." Jen said with determination.

I ignored them and didn't move.

"Red, you haven't left this bed in five days. You are not going to your classes and you are not eating. This cannot continue," Emma continued.

"We have decided to call your parents. We cannot let you starve and fail your semester. Something has to be done." Lily added.

I listened to their words and heard the resolve in their tone of voice. I turned around and I glared at them. They held their eyes up at me with persistence. They were not bluffing.

"I'm actually going to the library. I'm fine." I said, swinging my legs on the side of the bed. I realized how dry my mouth was.

I got up and grabbed my shower bag and left the room without a second glance at the girls. I let the cold shower run over my aching body. Each drop wakening my body, reviving all the emotions I was trying to avoid. I let the tears roll down along with the water. Finally, I washed myself. My muscles were stiff and sore. And I realized how pale my skin was getting. My hands were slightly shaking and I felt an unfamiliar throbbing in my head.

I got out of the shower and patted myself dry. I put on my jeans and a shirt on. I walked back to the room to find my friends waiting for me. They looked shock to see me actually dressed.

"Red, let's go and eat something together first. Then you can go to the library"

I slipped my sneakers on, put my sweatshirt on and looked at them.

"I have to study for my finals," I said, grabbing a bottle of water and drinking some in front of them so they feel more at ease.

I left the room before they said anything more. My hair was still dripping wet and uncombed. My eyes were still red and puffy. I assumed I looked like a mess. I walked down the stairs and out the back door. The cold wintry wind met me and I shivered. I finished the water and threw the bottle in the garbage.

I stared forward. I had to turn around to go to the library. But I didn't want to study and I hadn't even taken any of my books with me. I looked at the gloomy forest and decided to go there. Maybe I would even find the urge to feed.

I walked slowly and aimlessly, not paying attention to the students passing by. When I reached the border of the forest, I felt my body relax by its comforting shade and familiar scent. I walked away from the path and allowed my feet to take me away from campus. My muscles loosened and my mind emptied until I only thought of the fresh wind brushing my skin and weaving itself through my curly hair. I only heard of the cracking of dead leaves and twigs on the ground as my feet hurried faster and faster into the depth of the forest. I was running at full speed and my body became lighter with each stride.

Finally, I stopped, feeling out of breath and tired. Dad was right: I was getting weak. I felt my heart tightened again at the thought of what happened this last week. I swallowed the tears that rushed into my eyes.

Jacob didn't love me.

My chest folded into itself, crushing my heart into pieces. My fists clenched tightly at the pain, my nails digging into my skin.

I was mad at myself for being fooled so easily. My friends were right: I was a naïve, immature little girl who believed in fairytales. And I fell hard.

I was so gullible it was pathetic.

I inhaled deeply, urging my pain to disappear. I realized how dry and inflamed my throat felt. I needed to feed. I hadn't had any blood in three months.

I sharpened my hearing and took in a deep breath. I could hear two quick heartbeats and a subtle scent of fresh blood. I lured closer and easily found two deer searching for food. The fire in me grew and I crouched. I listened carefully to their hearts, cautious to not be noticed.

I froze.

I could hear slower, louder heartbeats not far away. Humans. I turned around to spy on the intruders. I would find the deer again. I had to make sure first that the humans would not walk towards me.

I slithered closer and inhaled again. My feet faltered at the same time as my heart pounded louder, and I tripped. It was that infamous scent that I knew so well and that still made my inside spark.

Jacob was here. And he wasn't alone.

My mind froze. I couldn't think clearly. I knew that I should walk away but my feet brought me closer without my permission, my heart swelling with pathetic joy. I was a magnet, unable to stop from going to him. I stared at the wrenching sight in front of me and felt my body rip and tear, burning blades searing through my guts.

Jacob was sitting on the same rock we had been. He was holding another girl's hand and his head was nuzzling her neck. Her arms were playing with his beautiful hair.

They were so close and so intimate. I felt the roar built up in me before I could stop it.

Their heads snapped back and stared at me. My eyes met Jacob's eyes and I involuntarily shivered. My breathing peeked and my heart accelerated. I cursed my body for still reacting to him this way.

Suddenly, Jacob looked at the girl next to him. The girl leaped up and faced me in an aggressive stance. She was shaking. Her eyes were full of hatred when they locked with mine. I could feel my lip pull back to bare my vampire teeth. Jacob wrapped his hand around her arm and pulled her down. The girl didn't move but her glare left mine, and looked down at Jacob.

They stared at each other and were communicating without words.

The tear in my heart exploded and pure agony cursed through my veins, every molecule in me were throbbing and burning.

She glared back at me with loathing. I kept my eyes on my enemy and crouched in defense.

"Leah, please," I heard Jacob's smooth voice whisper.

Her eyes lowered to him and my heart couldn't take anymore of their intimacy. I swiftly spun around and ran away from them. I tried to forget the scorching image of Jacob's hands on another girl. I ignored the wrenching pain I felt when I saw his eyes locked into somebody else's gaze.

I ran as fast as I could while I felt the tears wet my face.

Each step was heavier than the one before. Each new step was shattering another piece of myself, ripping it off with gore. I felt literally broken. My pain was becoming me, engulfing me whole.

Suddenly, I heard noise following me. Branches were snapping and leaves were crackling with each quick step behind me.

I knew it was him without looking back. My body felt him close, my heart swelling and goose bumps popping on my flesh.

Jacob was following me.

I pushed myself faster, running at full speed, running away from him, running away from my own sadness.

I heard his heartbeat heavily resonate in the forest as he accelerated to keep up with me.

His strong hand took hold of my arm from behind and jolts traveled through my body at the contact. My feet faltered and Jacob took the opportunity to turn me around so I would face him. I instinctively kept my eyes leveled, avoiding his eyes, knowing too well their effect on me. I couldn't allow my love to take over. Loving him was hurting too much.

I vehemently jerked out of his grip. I was pissed off. How dare he lied to me, used me, and then repeated his offences with another girl. In _our _spot. How dare he came running after me, touching me, making my body feel all weak for him when he had stolen my heart and stepped all over it.

He tried to touch me again and, full of anger, I pushed him forcefully away from me.

I gasped in horror when I saw him fly back and crash violently into a tree behind him. I heard a loud crack when his back met with the trunk. I stared at him with wide eyes and saw the pain in his eyes.

Suddenly a large branch fell in between us and I jumped with shock. Anger was washed away as quickly as it had come. I realized at that instant what I had done. In my state of fury, I had used my full strength on Jacob. Half vampire power over a human. It could be deadly. Petrified that I had hurt him badly, I swiftly scanned his body and saw deep scratches on the back of his forearm and one of his ankle was badly bent. At that instant, I didn't care about the lies and the pain. The man I loved was hurt. Because of me.

I rushed toward him and hugged him.

"Jacob," I whispered, full of worry and shame.

He wrapped his arms around me, pressed his mouth against my forehead. I felt the deep exhale he took.

I pulled back and looked at him. He looked different and yet exactly the same. His eyes seem to be shielded, covered with a layer of pain. My eyes broke away from his morose glare and I looked at his injured arm. The scratches appeared smaller than before. I frowned in confusion. I continued checking his silky body, looking for any break, for any bleeding, for any broken bones. Suddenly, I realized he was only wearing a pair of shorts. No shirts, no shoes. My eyes traveled over his body, a growing yearning building up in me. My heart became stronger.

There were no other marks of damage on him that I could find, but I continued to search, knowing how badly he had landed against the tree.

"Nessie," he whispered in a plea, his voice huskier than ever, sending millions of soothe fire in my body. His hand cupped my cheek and warmth filled me whole. Slowly he made me look up at him.

Our eyes locked and my body burst into flames, desire flowing in my veins, the contact of his arms around me sending waves of bliss through me. I almost thought I could see sorrow and regret in his dark eyes.

Both of our breathing were heavy and our quick heartbeats filled the silence in the space between us, creating a unique music of its own. I felt the world around us disappear. There were only the two of us and the electricity in between us. Our eyes never left each other and I felt the joy of our reunion coursing through my body.

He opened his mouth to speak and I quickly put a finger over his lips and shook my head.

I lifted myself on my tiptoes and kissed him without hesitation. His lips responded immediately, tender and warm.

Our kiss quickly became more passionate, almost frantic. I had missed him so much. My hands touched every possible inch of his face. His glorious, magnificent, sun-like face that I loved. Our tongues found a perfect dance of their own, savoring each other's taste. Jacob's hands caressed my body with fierce, rubbing his hands against my waist and traveling down to my hips. Sparkles ignited everywhere his hands touched, and I felt whole and alive once again. My hands went down his body and explored every muscle line on his chest and down to his toned stomach. Our lips never separated and the frenzy increased. My heart was drumming three times its usual speed and my body burnt with unknown yearning. I needed more. Jacob's hands continued exploring my body and cupped my ass firmly. A moan escaped my mouth and Jacob reacted with passion, pushing himself closer to me and biting my lower lip. A low groan rumbled in his throat, firing up my insides. I was loosing myself in a pool of pleasure and wants. My hands flew up to his hair and my fingers weaved themselves through the silkiness of it. I tugged hard at it and pulled him closer to me. His hands made their way to the back of my thighs. He lifted me up and before I knew it, he was carrying me. My legs wrapped tightly around his waist and we both groaned with pleasure. He swiftly spun us around and pushed me against the tree. I tightened my legs to get him still closer to me, against my center. My hands pulled his hair with ecstasy. Jacob's hands traveled back up my body and held on tight to my waist. Jacob's lips separated from mine only to kiss my chin instead. I lifted my head up, hyperventilating. One of my hands was now exploring his bare back feeling his defined muscles move under my fingers. His lips trailed down my neck, his nose tickling my skin. Shivers coursed down my spine. His hand explored my stomach over my shirt and continued its path up. His large, warm hand cupped my breast and massaged it. I let another moan escape at the same time as my hips reached forward, pressing hard against him. Instantly, Jacob pushed forward as well and pinned me against the tree with force, his hand squeezing my breast. My head spun with ecstasy. I framed his face with my two hands and kissed him with fervor. He responded with zeal.

"Jake!" a loud, angry shriek pierced through the frenzy.

Suddenly, Jacob's body was pulled away from me and I felt the cold air slicing me. I felt empty and weak. I stumbled into my feet with difficulty, still feeling dizzy from our passionate encounter. The exhilaration was still fogging my thoughts when I heard loud roars.

I looked up and saw the tanned girl from earlier holding Jacob into a tight hug with strength. They both appear to be shaking and Jacob screamed at her with rage.

The excitement of earlier quickly dissipated and I felt the weight of loneliness and shame crush down on me.

What had I done?

Jacob abruptly freed himself from the girl's hold and rushed toward me. He halted shortly and his face darkened when he laid his eyes on me, as if he saw what I was feeling.

"Nessie?" he said.

I glared at him with anger. He had done it again: fooled me, used me, lied to me. And my body and mind had believed him. I hated his power on me. He owned me and I was powerless against his magnetic hold on me.

I didn't have any strength left to yell or to fight. I turned around and started walking away without another look at him. I loathed myself for having been fooled by him twice. And I hated that yearning that still existed in my heart, that hope that one day he'll love me back.

"Nessie, please," he called after me in a broken voice. My heart tightened. I wanted to go to him but I continued to walk. "Let me explain, please. I'm sorry."

In a flash, I turned around.

"I don't want to know why, Jacob." I screamed with the last grain of life I had. "Don't talk to me. Ever. I hate you." I spat at him.

His face crumpled and I felt my insides break a little more.

I forced myself to turn away from him once again. I ran and ran until I was as far away from him as possible.

This time he didn't follow me.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 13: JACOB's POV

The ground under me shook and my body quivered. Hell was reaching up to swallow me alive. I had difficulty holding myself upward. I couldn't feel my body. My legs had disappeared as if I didn't exist anymore.

Nessie, my reason for existing, was running away from me, taking all of me with her.

My heart had been ripped apart. There was no air, no oxygen, reaching my lungs and I couldn't breathe.

With each step I heard her take afar tore another piece of me.

I watched her with horror as she fled, and I knew I had nobody else to blame but myself. That realization was hurting more than anything else. I had done this. I had asked her to forget about me. I had cut her off without telling her why.

I had hurt her.

Suddenly, feelings came back in force in my dying body and I felt each member of my being throb with pain. My limbs were being torn in all directions, slicing flames torching my insides. My heart twisted in abnormal ways that made it bleed with agony. The mere thought of Nessie hurting was excruciating.

I could cope with my loss. I could handle my own pain and sorrow. But I couldn't accept that Nessie was hurting. Seeing my Nessie broken was the worst nightmare I had to face. I would rather cut my arm and jump into fire than hurt my precious Nessie.

I felt weak with torment and my legs finally gave up. I fell to the floor. I was on my hands and knees, my insides exploding with burning blades.

I had failed her.

I had failed her and I had hurt her.

I heard Leah reach out for me and felt her sisterly hand on my shoulder. I ignored her, feeling distress envelop me. I strained my ears and listened to the fading sound of my imprint. I stayed still until I couldn't hear her hurried steps afar anymore. I didn't move until her heartbeats disappeared completely.

And then, I knew she was gone. I felt hole grow inside of me.

I started crying. And soon, I was heaving and whaling like a baby.

When I stopped crying, Leah placed her hand on my shoulder again. I looked at her through wet eyes. I wasn't even mad at her. It was all my fault. Nobody else was to blame. Not the Cullens. Not Sam. Not Leah. Only me.

But I needed Leah to leave me alone.

"I'm sorry, Jake," She said. "It will pass, I promise. Heartbreaks are painful, but they heal."

I groaned and shrugged her hand off of me. I pulled myself up.

She didn't get it. Nobody got it. It wasn't a crush. It wasn't a fling. Renesmee Cullen was my imprint. And losing your imprint was losing your life. None of them had had to face that before. They didn't understand. Sam thought that Leah would relate with me. She had known heartbreak. So he had sent her to me as soon as they'd learned who Nessie was. I had told them about the Cullens' threat because it was something the pack should know. But their reaction had not been expected. They'd betrayed me. They'd urged me to do as the leeches asked and to never see Nessie again.

No. They didn't understand.

"Jake," Leah said again.

I stared at her in silence. Even now, I didn't feel anger toward her. She did as Sam asked. She came to me as a friend, a sister, a support. She thought she was doing right.

"Leave," I requested before walking towards campus. Nessie was my imprint and if I couldn't be with her, I'd watch her from afar for eternity. I might have believed before that I would be able to leave her. But now I knew it wasn't possible. I needed her.

"Jake, I know you think she's your imprint but she's not. She can't be your imprint. She's one of them. She's a blood-sucker, an enemy, a monster."

Rejecting the truth, and insulting my mate, was an attack to my core. Rage boiled in me like erupting lava. I glared at Leah with pure hatred. My body was shaking violently and I knew I was about to phase. I clenched my fists tightly, and inhaled deeply. I didn't want to start a fight. All I wanted was to make amends and make sure that Nessie was alright. I didn't care about anything else.

I didn't care about mortal enemies and wars, and who was on what side. I belonged with Nessie, no matter what everybody else said.

Once my anger was under control, I turned around and walked towards my reason for existing. Leah didn't mutter another word.

I could smell my Nessie in the air. The trees and the wind were still carrying her alluring scent. I walked fast until I could see the shape of the building where she lived. I stared at the window I knew was hers. The light was on but I couldn't see any movement.

I turned my phone back on and immediately saw all the miss calls and messages from the past week. My heart squeezed painfully. Nessie had missed me as much as I had.

Once again, the feeling of self-loathing and regret filled me. I had done everything wrong and my horrendous mistakes might never be forgiven.

I dialed her number and waited. No answer. I listened to her sweet voice prompting me to leave a message.

"Nessie. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please give me a chance to explain. Please, Nessie." I begged into the intercom.

It was getting dark and the campus emptied. Little by little all the lights in the dorm turned off and there were no more noises around. I stayed still, my eyes trained to her window.

The dark surrounded me and in the silence, her cries pierced through the calm of the night. Her sadness traveled out of her bedroom window and met me with pain. She was crying and my tears shed alongside hers. Guilt, remorse, hatred were eating me alive. I couldn't bare hearing my Nessie suffering in the middle of the night, by herself. I wanted to go to her. I wanted to make her smile again. I wanted to make her feel good once again.

Unconsciously, the memories of earlier came rushing in. The hope of a second chance had overwhelmed me. I had suddenly felt resurrected and didn't think twice about following my instincts. My needs and wants had mixed in with Nessie's desires. Nessie had seemed as desperate to be near me and to feel me.

It had been the most amazing, the most beautiful and the most alluring seconds of my life. The opportunity to kiss her, to taste her, to touch her so intimately had been an honor. I remembered the warmth and fizzle that her touches had caused on my yearning body. I had never wanted anything so badly.

But my actions had been wrong. Once again. I should have apologized first. I should've explained everything first. I should've told her the truth about me and about what I knew about her.

I had messed everything up.

And now she was crying all alone in her room while I was standing outside in the dark, hating myself.

When the sun rose, I was still standing in the same spot on the border of the forest, facing her window with despair. I dialed her number one more time and let the hallow ringtone hammer through my empty body.

She was not going to answer.

I saw Lily move in the room and heard her speak to Nessie. But there were never any answer. She was silent. She wasn't moving.

If I concentrated heard enough, I could identify her slower heartbeat among the others.

Was it even slower than usual?

I worried. There was a weird nudging in my guts that foreshadowed something bad. I could sense it in my bones that Nessie was not doing well.

I had hurt her too deeply.

I was a monster.

I waited rather impatiently for Lily to leave. As soon as Lily left the room, I went up to the second floor and stood in front of her room. She was there. I could feel her. I could smell her. I could hear her heartbeat calling me on the other side.

I controlled the urge to break open the door and to rush to her.

I had to give her a choice.

I knocked loudly and waited. The wait was unbearable. Nothing happened on the other side of the door. Her heartbeat accelerated a little and then slowly calmed down again. But there were no movement. No shuffling of blankets or sheets. No steps on the floor.

She was not getting up.

I knocked again. But Nessie never came to the door.

"Nessie," I finally called out.

Her heart thumped louder. She could hear me.

"Nessie, please let me in." I begged. "Please let me explain."

I waited again. Still no response. Still no movement.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you. I'm so sorry, Nessie. I love you." I said with truth and intensity.

I placed my hand on the knob. I wanted to force myself in so she could see in my eyes how much I meant every word I said. I wanted to see her. I wanted to make sure she was okay.

But I didn't open the door. I knew it would've been wrong. I resisted with all my power to not go to her. I sat in the hallway and listened to her steady heart drumming only a few feet away from me. I wondered if she could hear mine too. Her hearing must be as acute as mine.

I pressed my head hard against the wall and thought of it all. Everything was so ironic. I, who had hated bloodsuckers with a passion for most of my life, who had blamed them for ruining my life, stealing my girl, making me a monster, I was the one to imprint on one. The universe must be laughing at it all. But nothing was funny about where I stood right now. I was left alone, hated by everybody. I had become an enemy to everyone. My pack vehemently refused to accept that I actually imprinted on one of the Cullen. The Cullens threatened me that they would eradicate me if I didn't leave their baby alone. And Nessie, my love, hated me too and didn't want to see me ever again.

I was all alone, with many enemies. And all I could think of was my beautiful Nessie who was hiding in bed on the other side of the door. I thought long about the implication of my love for her. She was half-vampire, and yet it made complete sense to me. She was perfect for me. She had all the pieces that I missed. She made my heart beat stronger. She made my vision sharper. She was the only person who could make me relax completely. She made me feel whole, as if suddenly I belonged somewhere. She gave meaning to my life.

I shook my head with anguish.

I had finally made my decision. I couldn't lose her. My choice was to go against my own kind, to ignore the threats and the possible war that would explode, because I needed Nessie more than anything else in the world. Now, it was Nessie's turn to know all the facts and to make a decision. I would obey her wishes. I had to find a way to explain everything to her, to let her know how much I knew about her kind, and who she was. I would honestly tell her who I was. And then, she would make the decision.

But first, she needed to know why I had disappeared. She needed to know what her dad forced me to do, what her uncles said they would do to me. She needed to know how weak and foolish I had been in the last week. She should know what my own pack leader commanded. And I would explain to her the warnings that both the Cullens and Sam pointedly expressed.

The only way to get her back was complete honesty. And I was ready for that as long as she would let me explain.

** What did you think about getting Jacob's POV? Good or bad idea? **PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW:)****


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 14

I must've fallen asleep on the floor by Nessie's dormroom door, her deep breathing soothing me while her heartbeat echoed inside of me like a pacemaker, keeping me alive as long as she was.

I woke up in a startle when somebody kicked me in my waist. I had been dreaming of my Nessie, smiling brightly, running eagerly toward me. We were standing under the waterfall I had taken her too before. I remembered how the magical dream of my Nessie forgiving me, running to me, had turned into a nightmare. A wolf had leaped from nowhere, and had tore my imprint to shred, while I had been paralyzed and powerless. I hadn't been able to save my Nessie and cried in agony.

Another kick hit me in my leg and I opened my eyes. Leah was standing tall and strong in front of me. I realized I was sweating.

"You're having a nightmare." She stated with a hint of grief.

I shrugged.

"Jake, Sam wants to talk to you."

I shook my head. "I'm staying here."

Leah crouched in front of me, and I thought I saw pity in her eyes.

"Jake, I know this is hard. I know how you feel. But if you decide to go through with this, you need to first talk to Sam."

"He's made his point very clear." I spat with disgust.

My fists clenched with anger. I had turned toward my leader, my only father figure, before.

After I'd found out who Nessie was, that evening when she had fallen asleep next to me, her soft hands unconsciously telling me her story, I had instantly planned on telling Sam. I had realized immediately that finding out the truth about who she was didn't change anything for me. She was my imprint no matter where she came from, and I would love her forever.

But it was significant information, and Sam needed to know. He was the alpha and I had always trusted his decisions. But then, complications had piled on one after another. Seth and I had to take care of Quil and his troubling guilt of sleeping with Lily. And as soon as I had finally dropped them off at the airport, I had been ambushed by three of the Cullens.

As soon as the Cullens, my imprint's family, left, I had phased and shared all the information with Sam. I had been seeking for advise and support. But he'd offered no empathy whatsoever. He'd been so furious, as if I had had a choice in who I imprinted. He'd blamed me for endangering our people. His thoughts had flashed hurtful memories of how I had failed my pack over the years.

Then, he had stated as a command:"You owe the pack many. You'll do as the leeches ordered and you'll leave the hybrid monster at once."

Leah grabbed me by the shoulders, tearing me from my inner thoughts, and pulled me up from the floor. I pushed her forcefully and she crushed into the opposite wall.

The door opened and Lily looked out. "What the hell is going on here?"

I approached Lily quickly, desperate to have a chance to see Nessie. I peeked over Lily's head and look inside the room to find Nessie.

"I need to talk to Renesmee." I stated.

"You need to leave her alone. She doesn't want to see you."

"Just let me in for a second. I just need to tell her something." I pleaded.

"No. It's two in the morning and she's asleep."

"Is she okay?"

Lily's eyes darkened, worry flooding into her glare.

"She's heartbroken, Jacob. No, she's not okay."

My heart dropped to the ground, tearing apart every organs on its fall.

"Just go. You're making it worst for her by staying here and constantly calling her. Just give her time to heal."

I searched the room and finally saw my Nessie, laying down on her bed. A feeling of relief and grief filled me up. Seeing her was perfection. I had missed her so much. Her eyes were semi-opened and our gazes locked. My heart peeked excitedly along with hers. Her eyes broke my soul. She looked so tired and sad. She didn't say anything. Her wet eyes suddenly closed.

I felt a wave of remorse and guilt. She was in pain and I was to blame.

Maybe Lily was right. I should allow Nessie to regain strength before confessing everything. She might be too weak to handle it.

Leah pulled my arm. "Come on, Jake, let's go."

I looked at Lily, who looked right back at me. She seemed conflicted as if she wanted to say something more. I could see she was really concerned about Nessie.

"If she needs anything, please let me know." I said before leaving with Leah. Lily closed the door and I felt the distance between Nessie and I grow as I stepped away. Gravity was stronger and my body was heavier to carry.

Leah and I didn't talk. We went to my apartment, and Leah reheated food for us. I ate little. My stomach was full of worry and sorrow. I kept on repeating that it was all my fault.

"We have a meeting with the whole pack in thirty minutes." Leah announced, emotionless. She saw the misery I was in and I knew she felt bad. She wasn't good at expressing feelings, but she didn't like seeing people she cared for suffer. "You can stay here and sleep, and I'll go and talk to them." She offered.

I shook my head. " I'll have to face them one day anyway."

She brought me a second can of coke.

"Leah, what do you think of all this?"

She looked at me intently for a while, and then she finally spoke. "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I know that she's your imprint. It is messed up and it doesn't make sense. But she's your imprint."

I nodded. I knew she was on my side. She accepted the truth, even if it was a dangerous and inexplicable truth. And I was grateful for it.

" Let's go and face the alpha." I said, dropping my empty plate in the sink.

We walked in silence to the forest.

As soon as we phased, I heard the others' voices. They were waiting for us. I heard all their thoughts at once but didn't linger on what they had to say. Only Sam's thoughts mattered, and they were centered around one sole idea. To get me back to La Push.

_I'm not leaving her._

Furor built inside Sam. Others felt the same way as him, including my brother-in-law Paul. There were a few youngsters that I didn't even know, who believed I was crazy and needed to do what was right for the pack and our people. And then I sensed a few who were confused. They had felt and relived my imprinting through our memory sharing, and knew Renesmee was my imprint.

_Sam, she is not a danger to us._ Quil thought loudly. Seth agreed right away, images of Nessie from the barbecue and the evening at my place, popping up.

_Maybe she isn't. But her family is large and powerful, and they already threatened to hurt Jacob._

_So let him get killed. It's his choice._ Someone young one thought.

_He's right, it is my choice_.

_If the Cullens kill you, we will go to war with them. You are our brother._

_I'm not afraid of any of those bloodsuckers. I'll kill them all myself, including the hybrid._ Paul thought with wrath.

I growled loudly and wished Paul was near me so I could hurt him.

_Enough!_ Sam thought. _We do not want to have to come to a war with the Cullens, which is why Jacob will leave Renesmee and come back here immediately._

_I am not leaving her._ I repeated with no compromise.

Leah pleaded with Sam to discuss other options. Quil and Seth were supporting me as well.

Sam ignored them.

_It is an order, Jake._ Sam thought in his alpha voice. The tone was authoritative. We all knew we were powerless against it.

_You will come back right now._ He commanded once again.

The pack fell silent with stupor. Sam rarely used his alpha power. My pack brothers, and sister, were shocked to hear him force me to leave my imprint, even if most agreed I should. They all thought of their own imprint. They knew Sam had the power to make them leave their reason of existing with a simple command, and it scared them to death.

I bent to his command against my will and felt myself die. I was loosing my soul and felt utterly empty. The holes were being replaced with wrenching, blade-slicing, fire-torching pain. I was in hell.

The whole pack shared my agony. Guilt and pity followed. We were all overwhelmed with my exploding torment.

Suddenly, I realized this was not possible. My imprint was above all. I would fight against all for her. She was the only thing that mattered in this life.

_No,_ I thought loud and clear. I felt the surprise flare inside everybody. Nobody before had ever defied the alpha.

_You are not my alpha and I will not do as you command. Nessie is my family, my life, my beating heart. I will never leave her._

_Jake, don't do this. _Sam suddenly begged, nervous. He knew I was the only one who had the power to defy him. _We are your family._

_I can't be part of this pack if you won't accept my imprint. I am the descendent of Ephram Black, and therefore have the power to make my own decisions. I am the natural leader and I will still protect my people. I assure that I will not allow the Cullens to attack any of you._

_But what about you?_ everybody thought in unison.

_Don't worry about me. I'd rather die trying to be with Nessie, than die by giving up on our love. None of you should seek revenge if I do get myself killed._

I phased back before I could hear any other objections. Leah phase back immediately after me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She yelled.

"It's the only way." I said.

"You can't just cut us off again. You can't always run away from us."

"It's not the same this time. I'm not escaping. I'm not running away. I'm running toward my life, toward my imprint."

"Jake, you can't do it on your own."

"I have no choice."

"I'm here for you. Quil and Seth are on your side too."

"Thanks. But you're belong in La Push, with your own imprint, and your daughter. You are part of a pack. I will not divide my people."

Leah knew I was right. "Please don't get yourself killed."

I smiled. "I'll try not to."

"We are still your family. No matter what Sam says."

"I know."

After this heartfelt exchange, Leah left for the airport and went back to her reasons for existing. I went back home to take a shower. My body was buzzing with nerves and excitement.

A sudden drop of panic grew in me. My life was changing so fast. I felt strangely free and isolated all at once. I knew that for the first time in my life, I was all alone.

What had I done? If I didn't belong to Sam's pack anymore, who would be here to back me up when I messed up? Where did I belong now?

Nessie's angelic face popped into my mind and I instantly relaxed. Nessie was my home. Nessie was where I belonged.

I would go back to her, able now to tell her my truth without betraying my pack. I would fight for my love without fearing the consequences for my brothers. I would beg her for forgiveness and for a second chance as long as it would take. I would plea with her family and prove to them that I meant no harm. I would show them as best I could that I really wanted the best for Nessie. Me, the outcast werewolf, will ask vampires to give me permissions to love their daughter.

I would not give up trying to regain her love.

I needed her more than anything else and would fight until the end to be with her.

**THANKS FOR READING&REVIEWING.**


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 15

I sped back to the border of the forest, already missing the rhythmic drum of her heart. I needed to hear her, to smell her, to feel my insides sizzle with comfort at her proximity. My body felt weak with fear to lose her forever.

She had to forgive me. She had to accept who I was.

My feet pushed me faster across the forest, cold wind clashing against my hot skin. I found a tree across from her building and leaned against it, my eyes directed straight at her window. Soon, my impatience took over. I paced back and forth, anxious to talk to Nessie. I thought of how best to start what I had to tell her. I thought of the millions of mistakes I had to apologize for.

Finally, I noticed Lily getting up and my thoughts were immediately focused intently. I heard the deep gasp of air and my heart stopped beating as the fear creeped in.

I felt a freezing shiver run through me.

I could hear the anguish in Lily's voice all the way from here. "Nessie! Nessie, are you okay? Nessie, answer me!" Lily cried over and over.

Something was wrong.

I ran as fast as possible to the back door of the building and ran up the two stairs of flight, my heart in my throat. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think of anything.

I needed to get to my Nessie now.

Finally, I made it to her room and pushed the door wide open. Lily was by Nessie's bed, her phone in hand. She looked at me in shock.

My eyes immediately narrowed on Nessie. She was laying in bed, whiter than her vampire parents, her lips a scary bluish color. She was shivering and drops of sweat were running down her forehead.

"What happened?" I managed to ask, my throat tight as hell and my heart drumming loudly in my head. I felt my legs trembling with fear.

Was she dying?

I suppressed a cry and swiftly ran to Nessie. I pressed my hand over her forehead. She had a high fever.

Lily stared at me, scared and clueless.

"I'm calling for an ambulance." She stated, dialing numbers on her cellphone.

My protecting instincts sprung. Nessie couldn't go to a hospital. She wasn't fully human. "No." I tried to control my own panic and talked calmly. "It's just a fever. You should go and get her some tylenol, a bottle of water, and something to eat for later."

Lily hesitated and then finally turned around. "I'll be back in 10 minutes," she informed before leaving.

I looked over at my fragile imprint and felt the anguish run through me. I brushed her damp hair away from her face.

"Nessie, I'm here. I'll take care of you."

I was scared. I took her small hand and held it against my cheek.

"Tell me what you need, Nessie." I begged, pressing her hand deeply against my own flesh. I saw random images of colors twirling around. She wasn't thinking rationally.

"Nessie, my love, please, just tell me how I can make you better." An image of me flashed in her thoughts and then disappeared.

"I'm here, baby. I'm here." I soothed. I kissed her forehead, still holding her hand pressed against my cheek. A hint of love passed through her mind before a feeling of rejection took over.

My chest tightened with guilt and shame. "I love you, only you, forever."

She shivered forcefully and she moaned in pain. Fear creeped in my guts, needles piercing my insides.

I could feel her pain, her weakness, her dizziness. My Nessie was really sick.

Knowing that she was suffering was making me feel powerless. I couldn't stand seeing her in pain.

"Tell me what you need. Anything. I can't loose you." I repeated, desperation in my voice. "I need you."

A sense of thirst. A burning yearning in her throat was projected through her hands.

Suddenly, I knew what she needed. Without hesitation, I sliced the palm of my hand open with my nail until blood came out. I placed my bleeding hand to her mouth.

She didn't drink.

I squeezed my hand to allow more blood to leak. My cut would heal soon. She had to feed now.

I rubbed my hand over her lips. She licked her lips and swallowed.

I offered my hand again and she leaned forward. She licked my wound and then, finally, she started sucking.

I felt relief wash over me. She was feeding and I could feel her body gently heal with each gulp. I was giving my Nessie strength with my own blood.

I felt special and proud. I felt a surge of belonging. Once again, I had a purpose in life: to take care of my imprint.

I felt happiness grow in me at the realization that I had the power to heal the love of my life.

Nessie wrapped both of her hands around my huge one, and held mine closer to her mouth. A moan of satisfaction escaped her lips and I smiled for the first time in days.

She opened her eyes and looked at me in shock.

I felt the blissful sparkles that Nessie always gave me spread over my body when I finally saw her eyes again. My tensed muscles finally relaxed.

Her gaze was full of questions and confusion, and fear.

"It's okay, my love. I'll take care of you."

She hesitantly continued to feed, her eyes locked with mine.

Her lips desperately pressed against my open hand. It felt strangely natural, and it made me feel amazing.

When she let go of my hand and laid her head back on her pillow, I examined her carefully. My eyes took in each inch of her. She was magnificent. Her wild red hair fanned over the pillow. Her long eyelashes decorated her deep, expressive eyes.

We stared at each other in silence, our hearts beating in unison.

"I've missed you so much, Nessie." I whispered.

A light glittered in her chocolate eyes.

She smiled faintly and closed her eyes.

I continued to look at her. Her color was slowly coming back but she was still paler than usual. I touched her forehead and noticed that the temperature was going down. I took her hand and rubbed my thumb against her porcelain skin.

"I'll let you sleep. I'll come back later." I placed her hand alongside her body and leaned forward to kiss her forehead before leaving.

I might not be a doctor but I knew she needed rest.

Lily opened the door as I was saying goodbye to Nessie.

"How is she?" she questioned.

She placed the water and the medicine on Nessie's dresser.

"She's better. She needs rest now."

Lily looked over at her friend and was relieved to see that the shaking had stopped.

"She looks better." She turned to me. "Thanks. I didn't know what to do."

I bowed my head slightly. "I'm gonna go now. Call me if you need anything. I'll pass by later if that's okay."

Lily nodded. "You know, she often says your name in her dreams."

I smiled faintly. It reminded me of how I had left her. She wouldn't have to call me in her dreams if I had been with her.

Nessie made some sounds and we both looked at her.

"Did you say something?" I asked eagerly.

"S...Stay." she murmured softly, her eyes still closed.

I grabbed her hand with love. "I'll stay with you as long as you want me."

I felt a sense of comfort flood through Nessie, and her feelings became mine as I felt identical comfort in knowing that I could stay with her longer.

I looked at Lily inquisitively.

"It's actually good that you stay. I have class and somebody should be with her." She said, grabbing a book and stuffing it in her bag. "I'll see you later." She added before leaving the room.

I faced my beautiful imprint, and watched over her. She was already sleeping, a small smile painted onto her pinkish lips. Her fingers unconsciously rubbed in my hand. I felt twinkles flare. With love, I squeezed her delicate hand.

I sat in her chair, still holding on to her. I brushed her hair adoringly, listening to the soothing music of her heart.

The fever was still present and she projected a feeling of coldness through our hands.

Hesitantly, I took off my shoes and laid next to her, on my side. Instantly, Nessie turned over to her side, and buried her face under my chin. One of her legs found its way in between mine.

I breathed deeply to repress my own yearning. This wasn't the moment for this.

I wrapped my arms tenderly over her small body, making sure to warm her up with my supernatural heat.

Her breathing caressed my neck and shoulder with warmth, and my body stirred with excitement. I controlled my needs once more.

She was so close to me, it was heaven. All the worries and fears of the last days evaporated. I had in my arms all I needed to be happy.


	17. Chapter 17

chapter 16

I didn't sleep one bit but felt more rested than ever in my life. My reason for existing, my beating heart, my Nessie was gently tucked in my arms, sleeping softly against my open chest. She was safe and sound, and, most importantly, she was here with me. Nothing more miraculous could ever happen. I had received everything I would ever want in life and way more.

I watched her sleep, the afternoon sun brightening her already glowing skin. I noticed the glittering reflection of her diamond-like skin against the sun rays, and I wondered how I could have ever thought that this perfect creature could be human. She was beyond perfection: her beauty was heaven, her grace was ethereal and her wisdom was idyllic. She was too perfect to be human.

She was my hybrid princess.

I thought about her parents, my sworn enemy and my traitorous friend. I ignored the irony of their gift to me, and only regretted having never accepted their relationship. I was ashamed at the memory of how much I used to despise them. I knew now that their love was beyond ordinary. Their love had had to be the purest, the greatest that had existed in the world before my love for Nessie came to be. Only such heavenly love could create a being such as my Nessie. And therefore, I owed them my life. They had created my reason for living. They had given me a new heart when I thought I was dying. I owed them everything.

They already knew about my dating their daughter and had already expressed their strong disapproval. Their menacing threats and their fury was proof enough that they hated the idea of me with their daughter. But I couldn't stop to wonder why I was still alive, and why I was allowed to stay in the same school as her. And even more surprisingly, I wondered how I had been able to spy on my imprint for days with no interference, and how I ever ended up close to her once again, laying down on her bed with her in my arms.

I must be the luckiest man on earth.

My eyes fell again on her peaceful, porcelain face. She looked a million time better than this morning. Her skin was back to a fair rosy color, her temperature was back to her normal set, and her heart was beating steadily and strongly in her chest. Her deep breathing blowed her inner warmth on my bare chest, the perfect aroma of her was now my oxygen.

I smiled, enjoying this blissful feeling of finally having reached home, and I waited for her to wake up so I could finally share all of my secrets with her.

Nessie unconsciously wet her lips and I stared, mesmerized, hoping that one day, I would be allowed to kiss them again.

The last time I had kissed her had been completely wrong timing, and my too matured, too desperate body had crossed a line that I shouldn't have had crossed. Nessie was too young, too pure, for me dirty self to take advantage of. But when I had finally seen her in front of me again, I hadn't been able to resist her. I needed to touch her, to make sure she was real. My body had been aching from our separation for days, the magnet of our imprinting had stretched so far that my limbs had become infernal fire. I had been too desperate to realize that I was pushing myself too strongly.

And she had ran away from me. Again.

I regretted the way I had acted in the forest, and I knew that she was upset with me for it. She had ran away from me without looking back. She had screamed that she hated me and that she never wanted to see me ever.

It wouldn't happen again. I wouldn't hurt her, or disrespect her, ever again. I would keep all my desires, all my wants, far inside. I would only listen to what my Nessie needed. I would talk to her first. I would explain myself. I would ask her what she wanted.

Nessie stirred next to me, bringing me back to the present. She shifted her body, once again awakening my shameful yearnings and her eyes fluttered open. She stared at me in surprise.

I smiled shyly, not sure if she would be upset to have me in her bed with her. I pulled myself upward to a sitting position.

"Hi." I broke the silence. Her magnificent chocolate eyes never left me. "How are you feeling?"

She continued to watch me, but her eyes were searching for something. She swallowed and brought one hand to her throat. Her brows furrowed slightly.

"You got really sick this morning. Lily was panicking and I ran here. You had a high fever and were really weak." I explained, not sure of what she remembered.

I watched her intently to see her reactions and our eyes locked, making my heart drum with joy. She looked so small, so young, and so frail. I wanted to pull her back in my arms, to protect her against the world. The silence lasted and she didn't say anything. She was searching for answers in my eyes.

"Nessie? Do you remember anything? Is something hurting?" I asked, worry taking over me.

She bit her lips and pushed herself up. She was still low in energy and moved slowly. She kneeled in front of me so we were face to face. My gaze was getting lost in her deep, intense eyes. Suddenly, she bent forward and kissed me. Light and short. But still magical and perfect.

She pulled away too fast and smiled brightly at me.

"Thank you for saving my life." She said in a soft, beautiful voice.

I smiled back at her and kissed her tenderly.

"Thank you for being alive."

She chuckled faintly and shook her head. I saw her expression change from amused to hurt. She pressed her hand against her frontal lobe.

"Do you have a headache?"

"I...I'm not sure. I never had headaches before. But it feels uncomfortable when I move my head, like something heavy is rolling inside and bumping into its sides." she complained.

I cradled her head extremely softly and kissed her forehead. "It's definitely a headache." I informed my not-quite-human imprint. "I think you need more blood. You should hunt."

I heard her heart skip a beat and she looked at me warily.

"You've drank my blood earlier. I'm sure you've realized that I know your diet by now." I joked, trying to ease the tension.

She bit her lower lip and looked at me. She frowned and then rubbed her temple. I caressed her cheek lightly. Her eyes moved away from me. She stared at her own hands, fidgeting. She was nervous.

"You don't think I'm disgusting?" She suddenly uttered.

I shook my head vehemently, upset that she could even imagine such a thing. "I could never think that. You're perfect, Nessie!"

She blushed and looked back at me in the cutest kind of way. It gave me tingly feelings all over. Her brows crumpled again as she stared at me, trying to make sense of everything.

"I have a lot to tell you, Nessie. About my own secrets and about what I know of yours." I explained. "But first, you have to get better. You need to hunt."

"You're coming with me?" She asked with hope, ignoring the comments about secrets.

"I'm not leaving you alone until I'm sure that you are completely healed."

She looked sad. " So you are leaving me again." she whispered so low I almost didn't hear her. My heart ached at the sound of sorrow in her voice. I didn't want her to ever feel like that.

"No. I'm not leaving you, ever again. I'm sorry for disappearing last time. I was so wrong. It will never happen again." I begged for pardon. "Nessie, I promise I will stay by you for the rest of time, unless you want me to leave. Nobody can ever force me to leave, except you." I expressed with intensity. "What I meant before was that if you wanted me to leave you alone, I'll give you space only after I am sure you are better."

Her heart was racing and there was glimmer in her eyes. "Good, because I don't want you to leave." She said shyly, her eyes once again lowered, and happiness flourished in me.

She wanted me to stay.

Then, she got up from bed without looking at me. I noticed how she suddenly grimaced a little. I quickly stood up as well and went to her.

"What is hurting?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry." She dismissed my worry. "Let's go hunting."

After she showered and got dressed, we walked to the forest in silence. I could sense that she was nervous. She didn't look at me and refused to hold my hand. I followed her, concerned about her strength.

The wind was crisp and there was some frost on the ground. She probably still had a low fever, and the cold must not be good for her. I worried that maybe I should've gone hunting for her while she stayed in bed. I could've brought back a small animal for her to drink.

Suddenly, she halted and inhaled deeply. She glanced at me momentarily.

"Stay here and wait. I'll be back." She ordered.

I obeyed against my will and watched her slither away. I couldn't help but listen to her request. I would do anything she asked. But I felt anxiety build in me when I lost sight of her. I strained my hearing and listened carefully. I heard the cry of an animal, and then pure silence. Time moved slowly and everything seemed to be still.

Finally I heard her light steps returning to me and my muscles loosened one by one until I saw my imprint again. I stared at the beautiful sight in front of me. She halted a few feet away from me. A glimmer of gold swirled into the pool of her chocolaty eyes and she stared at me with those wide, marvelous orbs. Her cheeks were painted rose and her silent lips were bright red. The tension in her body had completely dissipated and she stood straight and healthily.

But there was still concern in her eyes as she looked at me and waited for a reaction.

I smiled at her and walked towards her, aching from the distance between us. I quickly closed the gap and stood right in front of her. I knew the time for truth was finally here, but, selfishly, I stretched time, scared of what she would think of me once I told her everything.

Hesitantly, she stepped closer and she placed her hand on my cheek and I savored the feeling of her silky touch on me.

An image of myself entered my own mind through Nessie's gift. She was showing me her memory of me giving her my own blood for her to drink. There was a sense of both confusion and gratitude in her thought.

She quickly took her hand off of me and watched me with caution. She wanted explanations now. I took a deep breath.

"You were thirsty and weak, and maybe even dying," I said, the last words coming out with difficultly. The mere thought of her dying was unbearable. I took her hand in mine and caressed it tenderly, reassuring myself that she was alive and here with me. I took a deep breath and looked straight in her eyes.

"We both have secrets about our nature, and about where we come from. But you don't need to be worried about me knowing the whole you. I want to know everything about you. And each time I learn something new, I fall in love even more with you. You're amazing. And you being a half-vampire, makes you even more incredible. I love you so much, Nessie."

Her wide eyes were full of questions and doubts, but she stayed put, close to me, her hand placed in mine.

"I found out who you were the night you fell asleep at my place. Your... your gift told me your secrets while you were asleep in my arms." I said. "But I think I might've known all along who you were. I was just too stubborn to accept the truth before."

"I don't understand." She said. "How could you have known about me and my kind?"

I smiled shyly. "That's where my secret start." I explained. "Do you know where La Push is?" I asked.

"That's where you're from," she stated.

"Yes, it is. But where is it exactly?"

She shook her head, confused to where I was going with that.

"It's in Washington State, near Forks." I informed her, almost sure that she must know something about her family's past and their interactions with us.

The stutter of her heart confirmed my assumptions. She knew. She pulled her hand away and looked at me as if she had never seen me before. I felt my world crumble as I realized she would not accept me for who I was.

"My parents lived there before I was born." She stated in a monotone voice. "My family's not allowed to return to the state of Washington. We have been forbidden to go there by a bunch of..." She raised her eyes and glared, unable to finish her sentence but already knowing the answer.

I nodded and completed the sentence for her.

"Wolves."

She stared, her eyes fixed on mine. She searched deep into my eyes but couldn't find what she was looking for.

"Nessie, I'm a shape-shifter. I phased for the first time when I was sixteen. Quil, Embry, Seth, my whole pack and I, we turn into wolves to protect our tribe from..."

"Vampires." she quickly added.

I nodded, watching her reaction anxiously.

"We exist to kill vampires." I stated shamefully.

"We are mortal enemies." Nessie cried in a low whisper, tears rolling down her cheeks.

My heart shrunk with despair. I framed her face with my too large hands and lowered myself so I could see her face and her eyes.

She refused to look at me, but I could see the sadness on her face, and I thought I heard my own heart fall to the ground.

"No, Nessie, no. We're not mortal enemies. We can't be enemies. You... You're my reason for existing. We're meant for each other." I confirmed, wishing her tears to stop falling.

"That's why you left. That's why you didn't want to see me anymore. Because you found out who I was and you were disgusted. You hate me." She moaned.

I dried her tears softly and my fingers caressed her face, trying to soothe her.

"Never, Nessie. I would never feel disgust and hatred towards you. You're my imprint. You're my soul mate. I love you more than anything, Nessie. I can't be without you. Please believe me."

She finally raised her gaze up to me, her red eyes still drowning in her tears.

"So why," she whispered.

"Because I'm dumb and weak. Because I listened to all the wrong people." I told her. "Because other people say we're mortal enemies, and they don't want us to be together."

"Who?" she croaked.

"The pack alpha, Sam, and most of the pack." It was hard to think of them not as my pack anymore. I wasn't one of them now. I had left them for something more important.

"And who else?" She asked, realizing there was more to it.

I looked at her with pity. I didn't want to tell her that her family was a part of this. She was so close to them. She trusted them completely.

She shook her head slowly, realization daunting on her. "My family." She said, tears flowing anew.

"Shhhh, Nessie." I said. I wrapped my arms around her petite figure and pulled her against me. My heart cracked with each tear she shed.

She buried her face into my chest and her hands clanged onto my shirt. I pressed my lips against the top of her hair and rocked our body softly.

"Shhhhh," I repeated over and over. "Everything's going to be alright, Nessie. I promise. We're together now."

Her hands let go of my shirt and snaked their way up to my neck, sending me waves of fire. Her arms locked themselves around my neck and held me tightly. I brushed her long hair, wishing to push all bad feelings away. I buried my face in her hair and breathed in her heavenly scent. I felt the pressure on my neck and realized she was pulling me closer to her. I leaned forward and was received by her welcoming lips. Our kiss lasted a long time, and it was slow and tender, and I appreciated every second of it. It was sweet home-coming.

**Please review :)**


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: So sorry for the delay…Enjoy! And thank you for the reviews, they always make me smile as bright as Jacob :)

CHAPTER 17

Nessie's sweet lips pressed against mine with zeal. She kissed me over and over, letting her tears run free as well.

I kissed her back with love and tenderness. The softness, moist and warmth of her kisses were exquisite. Her sweetness perfuming my mouth with hunger.

I understood both of her reactions: the passionate kisses and the tears. She was sad about the reality of where we stood in front of everybody else. Her family disapproved of us, and my pack alienated me. We knew we were meant to be enemies. But above all that, our hearts were already set in stone. We were destined to be together. Imprints for eternity.

I pulled away from the comforting warmth of her lips and looked at her. My eyes only saw her. The forest surrounding us was only a faint background. She was my universe and I never got tired of looking at her: her milky skin, her chocolate syrup eyes, her auburn hair flying in the wind. She was a picture from the skies.

I ran my hands alongside her arms and waist, and brushed her silky hair to uncover her face.

Her eyes met my gaze and the current between us was like a fiery magnet, bringing us one to the other with firework. Her wet eyes were sparkling with happiness underneath her tears.

"I've missed you so much," I whispered in her ear. She shuddered and smiled brightly, illuminating the whole forest with her inner glow.

My lips couldn't stay away from her and I kissed her anew. I kissed her wherever I found bare skin: her shoulders, her neck, her hands and fingers, her nose, her eyes, and of course, her lips.

"Never leave me again," she pleaded in between kisses. "Never, ever, leave me again."

I pulled away from her and looked straight into her eyes. "I promise, Nessie. Never again. I will be by your side for the rest of time."

"I will deal with my family, Jacob. They'll accept our decision."

"Nobody can tell me to stay away from you, Nessie. You're my life." I confessed.

Her pupils widened with happiness and hope, and the drumming of her joyous heart echoed loudly in the quiet of the forest.

Her eyes bored deep into my own gaze. I stared in awe at the beauty in front of me. Her red eyes were finally dried. Her cheeks were flushed with passion and her lips were swollen from kissing. She was exquisite.

I couldn't believe what was happening. Nessie knew who I was. And even after knowing everything, the whole truth, she still was begging me to stay with her. She had just found out that we were supposed to be mortal enemies, that my people killed her people, and that my very own pack, with me as the biggest supporter, chased her family away from their home, but she still wanted me by her side forever.

She still loved me, I rejoiced.

And even after knowing that her family forbid me to see her, that Edward hated me to no end, and that her family loathed my kind.

Still, she wanted to be with me.

I felt like a whole heavy layer of worries and despair and self-hatred vanished off of me. I felt lighter than on the day I was born. Gravity didn't exist and Nessie was the only thing keeping me here on earth.

And suddenly, I knew exactly my purpose in this life: to love this woman standing in front of me. I was born to make Nessie happy, and to take care of her, and to spoil her for eternity.

I smiled wider than ever at my beautiful, angelic imprint standing right here, in front of me. And then, slowly, I lowered myself into one knee.

I mentally cursed myself for not having prepared for what I was about to do. I wished I had a speech ready. I wished I had a ring to offer her. And I wished this moment could be as perfect as my Nessie was.

I listened to my imprint's heart skip a beat, while her brown eyes followed my every move in utter shock.

I tenderly took her hand in mine and I felt the anticipation and excitement and pure love that Nessie was experiencing at this exact moment. I smiled right back at her, feeling for once in my life completely confident of the choice I was making.

"Nessie, since the day I first saw you, you've changed me. You're the only thing on my mind, always. I need you to exist. Being apart from you is the worst hell possible. You are my gravity, you are my oxygen, you are my everything." I squeezed her hand and she returned the same. There was a beautiful glimmer dancing in her eyes.

"I want to take care of you, and give you everything you wish, and I want to make you happy for the rest of time, if you would allow me." I took a deep breath. Nessie's breathing was shallow and she was chewing her lips. She opened her mouth to say something but I quickly continued my speech before she had a chance to say anything.

"Renesmee Cullen, would you marry me and make me the happiest and luckiest man in the world?"

I couldn't feel the wetness of the snow sinking into my pants, nor could I hear the wind blowing forcefully. The only things I heard were the heartbeat of the woman I loved and her husky breathing. My own heart had stopped, waiting anxiously for the most important answer in my life.

Nessie dropped to her knees and grabbed my face in between her two hands with fierce. She kissed me with so much strength and passion that my whole body lit up on fire. I grabbed her face as well and kissed her back with even more love and passion than I ever felt. The fire inside was sparkling like fireworks. My own happiness mixed magically with Nessie's joy as her hands were lovingly pressed on my cheeks. I could feel so much all at once, and the magnitude of this moment overflowed out of my body. Happy tears escaped and Nessie kissed and licked my tears away, her own eyes getting moist with bliss.

"Jacob, _you_ would make me the happiest and luckiest woman in the world! I love you so much, and I want you for eternity," she managed to utter, her lips glued to mine.

I grabbed her in my arms strongly, keeping her body against mine. I got up, holding her tightly against me. Her arms were tightly holding me around my neck, as if she also wanted to be closer to me than possible.

"Nessie, that meant yes, right?" I asked, needing to hear it again.

She laughed and nodded. " Yes, Jacob Black, it means yes. I want to marry you."

I spun her around, not able to contain my happiness and excitement. Nessie started laughing brightly and I joined in.

We were flying in pure happiness.

After many more kissing and smiling and intimate gazes full of love, I grabbed her hand and slowly pulled her toward campus.

"We should go back," I said, not wanting to bring her back to reality. I didn't want to share her with the rest of the world.

"I want to stay here forever, Jacob. Let's never go back." Nessie said, echoing exactly what I was thinking.

I smiled at her and kissed her nose. " I wish we could, but you have friends, and a family, and college to finish. Nothing will change, I'll always be by your side."

She lifted her tiny self on her tiptoes and kissed me softly. She pressed her hand on my cheek and the word _always_ echoed in my head in my own voice. I could feel Nessie's trust and love and comfort at that simple word I told her.

I kissed her once more before pulling her towards campus.

We walked in silence, both immersed in glee. She squeezed my hand lightly and an image of the two of us, dressed in fancy clothes, twirling around a dance floor popped into my head. I was about to argue with her choice of clothing. I would never wear a pink tie. And I almost refuted her desire to dance a waltz. But suddenly I actually wanted to do all of this. I wanted our wedding to look exactly the way Nessie was picturing it.

She glanced up at me in between her lashes and smiled brightly. I smiled right back at her.

"Only for you, Nessie, I would waltz around in pink," I joked.

She giggled and I enjoyed my body's reaction to the sight. I felt the love and lust grow in me. I breathed in deeply to regain control over this strong desire and suddenly halted, panicked. The smell reaching me was piercing and disgustingly sweet.

"What happened?" Nessie asked, alarmed.

I sniffed again to make sure, and I recognized the scent immediately.

"Edward is here," I stated.

Nessie's eyes grew wide with shock and nerves, and her heart sped exponentially. She squeezed my hand tightly and stared at me.

I could sense her worry and anger, mixed with the desire to be with me and the love she felt for me.

"We'll have to face him anyway. Why not now?" She said with bravura, taking me by surprise with her feisty demeanor. She suddenly looked like a stronger, more confident Bella. She was determined and fearless.

I couldn't resist smiling at my strong-willed, beautiful imprint.

"I'm ready if you are," I stated, suddenly ready to fight a war for my Nessie. "I promised I'd never leave you again."

She looked at me as if I were Santa Clause on Christmas morning. She jumped in my arms and kissed me excitingly.

"I love you," she said.

In the far, I heard Edward groan.

I held Nessie close to me as we walked closer to her dorm. I reminded myself that he was Nessie's father. I couldn't hurt him.

Nessie loved him. And I loved her. So we had to find a compromise if I were to be with her for eternity.

As we approached the dorm, Nessie and I suddenly both stopped at the same time and looked at eachother.

"Grandpa is here too," she stated.

I nodded. I could smell him as well. Nessie became more confident and smiled at me.

"Grandpa is more reasonable. He'll listen first. Dad would just explode without hearing us."

I smiled back at her, wanting her to not worry. I hid my doubt that doctor Cullen would be able to control Edward's fury.

"Let's go and meet your family," I said, pulling her toward the door.

"They'll be your family too, soon." She teased.

I snickered at the irony of my mortal enemies becoming my in-laws.

A louder, angrier groan echoed from the second floor.

This was going not going to be pretty.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 18

I heard Nessie take a long, deep breath, her eyes trained on the closed door in front of us. We both could smell Edward and the Doctor's scents mere feet away, only separated by that meager piece of wood between us.

Nessie was holding onto my hand tightly, her eyes narrowed as she prepared for the confrontation ahead. I could feel the rush of courage, dread, anger mixing inside of her. The strongest feeling fleeing out of her hands was determination.

I squeezed her hand proudly, knowing that no matter what was waiting for me behind this door, I would, first and foremost, make sure to keep my promise to Nessie. I would never leave her again. I would prove how strong and pure my love for her was. I would stand any vampire's wrath and loathing as long as I could be with my love. And I didn't care that her family were supposed to be my inherent, mortal enemies. I would tolerate them, even respect them because they were the ones to create and to nurture and to raise my beautiful, perfect imprint.

And with that thought in mind, we both, in unison, took one last breath of courage before she opened her bedroom door.

Everything, everybody, was utterly still. The vampires were like fucking statues in the middle of Nessie's bedroom. Only their eyes seemed to be alive, and what I saw in them made my body quiver like a stupid earthquake.

In a flash, Edward was inches from us, grabbing Nessie's hand and pulling her away from me.

"Come, darling. You could get hurt," he pleaded with urgency.

Edward knew the meaning of my shaking, and I felt weak and ashamed that my body reacted so strongly.

Nessie held on to me tightly and leaned closer to me. Her alluring scent helped me focus.

"I'm safe with him, dad." She replied.

The full trust that she had in me made me feel like a traitor as I shook impulsively beside her.

I knew I had to control myself at once. Edward would win his point if I lost control right now. I had to prove to them that I was not a danger to Nessie. I had to prove to them that I would never, ever hurt her. And I had to prove to them that I was mature, responsible, and in complete control of my impulses.

Or I would never be allowed to be near my Nessie again.

This last thought sobered me immediately. I couldn't lose my Nessie. I focused on the soft brushing of Nessie's thumb over my burning hand, and it kept me from exploding into a wolf.

Edward's darkened eyes were piercing into me with violent hatred and deathly threats.

A wave of shakes ran through me and I took a deep breath to regain control over my instinct to phase.

_This is Nessie's dad. He's not an enemy. Nessie loves him. Nessie needs him._

I repeated these sentences in my head like a mantra, trying to refocus on my breathing to calm down.

The stench that burnt my nostrils didn't help one bit, and my nose wrinkled instinctively.

I concentrated on the warmth that radiated from Nessie, and her sweet scent, and her soft fingers on me, and I finally calmed myself enough to be able to speak.

I said Edward's name exactly at the same time as Nessie said "daddy," in a sweet, pleading voice, which immediately reminded me that she was still so young.

"Silence!" Edward ordered, his voice sharp and non-negotiable.

Nessie and I both froze like chastised children and waited.

Edward's hands rolled into fists on either sides of his body.

His murderous glare never left me as he started to speak.

"I thought I had been clear last time we _met,_" he seethed, reminding me of the ambush, when him and the other two came to attack me. "You were to stay away, _far away_, from my daughter, or there would be painful repercussions."

I felt Nessie twitch next to me, her muscles feeling tight.

"Don't talk to him like that," she defended me.

His eyes momentarily glanced to Nessie, and they softened for a microsecond before grit renewed in his stare. His eyes traveled to our joint hands before glaring back at me, his nostrils flared with anger.

"Get. Your. Paws. Off of my daughter," he said with a quiet fury that made me shiver. "And leave. NOW." He continued with too much control to be a good thing.

I was about to let go of her hand at once, deciding that it would be for the best to obey, when I felt Nessie's grip on me tighten with defiance.

"Dad!" she shrieked with hurt, her wide eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

For the first time since I've met Nessie, I could really see the ten year old in her, and suddenly I felt ashamed and disgusted of my desires toward her. She was so innocent and pure. And once again, the images of me pinning her against that tree in the forest, after our separation, popped into my head. I remembered how desperation and lust and love and need had taken over me, kissing her, touching her, tasting her, for the first time.

A deep, vibrant snarl took me back to the present, and I was faced with a very angry vampire snarling at me with hate flaming in his eyes.

He crouched low, baring his teeth.

In the background, I noticed the doctor straightening up, ready to intervene if anything was to happen.

I felt the fire in me ready to rip through my core as I shook with apprehension.

_This is Nessie's dad. He's not an enemy. Nessie loves him. Nessie needs him._

I reminded myself over and over. I would not phase, nor attack him. I regained control before I started growling back at him.

"Leave or-"

"He will not go anywhere. This is my room and I want Jacob to be here." She cut her dad off with fierce.

The way she had said my name warmed me up with love and gratitude. I just adored her so much.

As I thought about how infinite my love for her was, Edward suddenly growled violently.

Nessie stepped forward, standing between her dad and me, protecting me over her vampire dad.

Her jaw was clenched and her eyes were only piercing slits, as she stared at her dad with fury.

I noticed their resemblance for the first time as they stared at each other with stubbornness.

Instinctively, I wanted to protect my little imprint against the snarling vampire. _Which happened to be her dad,_ a little voice added.

It went against all of my instinct to allow my imprint, this tiny half-human woman, to stand so close to this ferocious leech towering over her.

Edward bared his teeth as he snarled back at me one more time.

I stroke Nessie's hand only once with my thumb before I let go of her. The break of our connection made me feel cold and empty at once. And the anger that had been pushed away resurfaced immediately.

_This is Nessie's dad. He's not an enemy. Nessie loves him. Nessie needs him._

I took another stench-filling breath and stared at Edward with as much respect and understanding as I could manage under this tense situation.

"Edward, I promise I won't touch her again until you give me your permission, but -" I started, my hands up as if I stood in front of the police. I was stopped short when Nessie span too fast for a human and faced me with wide eyes full of hurt and shock.

"What?" she croaked, the sadness breaking me to the core. All I wanted was to make her happy, always, and I kept on ruining it.

Immediately, I wanted to reach out to her and hold her close to me.

I squeezed my hands into tight fists to resist the urge to touch her.

I tried to convey my love for her with my eyes as I looked straight into hers.

"He's your dad, Nessie. I will do everything in my power to prove to him that I am worthy of your love."

She stared at me silently, and I saw the sadness slowly disappearing as a new, happier light sparkled in her eyes.

She smiled at me.

"Thank you," she murmured, her beautiful eyes sparkling.

She looked up at her dad. Her brows rose up as she tried to convey a message to him. It seemed like she was pleading mentally to him.

A low, almost defeated grunt rumbled in him and he slowly shifted his gaze from Nessie to me.

The hate was still there, but it seemed subdued.

Doctor Cullen, who had been silent and mostly immobile in the back of the room the whole time, stepped towards Edward now. He placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, as if he were proud of him.

"Why don't you and Jacob step outside to talk while I examine Renesmee," he suggested, even though it was more of a directive than anything else. "I have to examine my granddaughter and privacy is appreciated."

I frowned, confused as to what he meant by examining her, and why he needed to do that in the first place.

"I'm fine, grandpa," Nessie answered. "Jacob cared for me while I was sick and I'm feeling a lot better."

Suddenly, the memories of Nessie lying sick in bed sprung back inside my head, and my worries resurfaced. How did I forget so quickly that she had been almost dying in bed this very morning? I looked over at her and examined her with my eyes, relieved to see her standing with strength. The images of her from this morning span in my head in comparison with what I saw in front of me now. I was haunted with the memories of the pale, fragile, body of my Nessie shivering with fever and moaning in pain.

A growl erupted from Edward and my eyes flew to him. His jaw was firmly clenched and his tensed hand raked through his head with anguish as he stared with pure care and love at his daughter.

"We'll go. Carlisle needs to examine you, my love," Edward spoke in a low voice full of concern. It was a softness I had never seen in him, and it touched me to witness it.

Nessie smiled at her dad sweetly and nodded. She looked down to her hands then and bit her lower lip.

I wondered what was bothering her and had the urge once again to go to her and comfort her. But I restrained.

Her eyes finally shifted up towards me, and at once, I understood her dilemma. Her eyes searched for reassurance in mine as we knew I had to leave. I smiled at her, letting her know it will be fine. I felt my chest swell at the thought that she felt the same anxiety I was feeling at the thought of parting. She loved me back, I rejoiced.

"Nessie," I said, before she had to say anything. "Do you want me to wait in the hallway?" I asked. "I'll stay right there." I promised to ease both of our fears.

Her eyes shone with love and gratitude. She nodded and smiled brightly.

"If it's okay with you."

I beamed back at her. "I'll never be far, and I'd wait for you forever." I stated as if it wasn't obvious already.

Her grin was so big I couldn't help but grin back as well.

Another rolling growl broke our locked gazes, and we both turned to look at Edward.

"Dad?" Nessie called out softly, "I…I love him," she informed him.

My heart exploded with joy and I felt the warmth of that love dancing through my veins.

"Please, don't hurt him."

Edward's fists were still clenched, but he looked at his daughter with compliance and gave her a half-smile.

She ran up to him and hugged him tightly, her hands clenching to his shirt. She hid her face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed hard before letting her go. He kissed her forehead and glanced at Carlisle for a second.

Edward moved away, stuffing his fists into his jeans' pockets.

Nessie's eyes locked again with mine and we stared for a while, saying our goodbyes silently. I ached to touch her but I stayed where I stood.

"Don't be far," she whispered at last.

"Never," I replied.

I took one more, long look at Nessie, her eyes seemingly doing the same, before I reluctantly stepped toward the door.

Edward followed me and my instincts were screaming that there was a vampire behind me. But I ignored these strong urges, somehow trusting Edward.

We both walked into the hallway, and he closed the door shut behind us, leaving us alone for the first time. We glared at each other silently, waiting for the other to break the silence.

**It seems like we are slowly approaching the end... I'm not sure how many more chapters...**

**By the way, I went to see Breaking Dawn on the 18th and it was awesome! Don't you agree?**

**Please leave me a note. Thanks in advance :)**

**xoxo **


	20. Chapter 20

_**A glimpse into Edward's head... This is his POV... Enjoy reading!**_

CHAPTER 19

I glared at this naïve, imprudent young man across from me.

_How dare he fell for my daughter!_

I felt heat boil in my marble body. The mere sound of his breathing made me burn with fury, venom flowing into my mouth and my upper lip lifting to bare my murderous teeth.

Everything in me told me to hate this Quileute boy and to hurt him. He was an enemy.

I tried to shut down his thoughts. Loud and vivid, they screamed the very thing I wanted to ignore the most: his love for my daughter. My hands clenched at the mere thought of my princess with _him. _I immediately pushed away the images of them kissing. I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to know about any of this.

If he wanted to remain alive, he would need to control his thoughts.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and breathed deeply. I regretted instantly the unnecessary inhale of oxygen. The burning stench of wolves polluted my insides.

The fury ran through my frozen veins and I forced myself still.

_How dare he touched her!_

I growled loudly, frustrated and angry and distraught. Jacob flinched and his body quivered at the ferocious sound of my voice.

I smiled internally, pleased to see him wince with fear.

I was utterly livid. I loathed the love I witnessed between my princess and this fiend. I was enraged at how he had treated my Renesmee, mauling her with no respect in the forest and making her cry.

_How dare he'd broken her heart!_

I glared at him and sneered. He lowered his eyes, disciplined, and clenched his mouth tightly shut. His tremors had diminished but they were still present, proving his temper and his inbred disgust of my kind.

I could still hear his mantra being repeated in his head, and it bothered me more than anything. His extreme efforts to not phase, his polite subornation, his respectable thoughts, were all annoying proofs that he was harmless and that he would never hurt my daughter nor her family. And that angered me. I wanted to hate him, and yet, he was proving himself fair.

I finally shifted my weight from one leg to the other, knowing how my unnatural stiffness made humans uncomfortable. Jacob glanced at me and waited, full of fear, for me to speak. Dread and desperation filled his thoughts. He was panicking, fearing the worst: that I would demand him to never see Renesmee again. I could hear the pure sadness and hurt that he felt by simply imagining living without Renesmee.

My fingers raked through my hair as I tried to calm myself down.

His pain and fear were additional proof of his true love for Renesmee, and I tried to ignore the anger fuming in me.

He wanted so badly to prove his love for Renesmee. And he even wanted me to approve of their relationship.

He was good and respectful, and the fire simmered in my chest with renewed frustration.

I knew without a doubt that he had imprinted on her.

_How dare did this dog imprint on my own flesh and blood._

All I could feel was the repugnance that it'd even been possible for a shape-shifter to imprint on my daughter, a half-vampire.

I stared at him with both rancor and pity.

Jacob shifted uncomfortably. He was nervous. Finally, he cleared his throat, not able to handle the heavy silence any longer.

I stared and waited for him to speak.

"Edward, I mean, Mr. Cullen, uhmmm" Jacob babbled, shaken by the immense fear of losing the person he loved.

I suddenly saw myself in him, in love with a human, going against everybody to be with the one who meant the world to me. Many thought that it was unnatural, disgusting, and dangerous for a vampire to love a human. But it had been destiny, just like his imprinting on my daughter.

I wasn't angry at Jacob anymore. Bella had been right all along. Jacob was a good person.

I nodded for him to continue, showing Jacob that I was willing to listen.

He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.

"I love your daughter, Edward. I understand that it is hard to accept it. It probably makes no sense that someone like me could feel this way about Renesmee. But this is real and it's forever. It's more than a crush or a fling. She will own my heart for eternity, no matter if I'm allowed to be near her or if we will be miles away from each other. And I believe she feels the same for me." He stated with force.

I gave him a small smile, surprised by the passion and fierce in his speech, and sadistically enjoyed his doubt that Renesmee actually felt as strongly for him.

"Edward, you don't have to be afraid about her safety. I would never hurt her. I will do everything in my power to make her happy every second of eternity. I love her more than I love myself. She's my whole world now, and I promise that I will take care of her."

I knew he had more to say and I waited. My silence was worrying him and I wouldn't deny that I was enjoying his unease.

"I want you to know that I've promised Renesmee that I will never leave her again and I intend on keeping my words." He added, feeling more confident now.

He stopped talking then and looked at me. We stared at each other silently. His new confidence was quickly fleeing and he was slowly drowning in despair. I allowed him to wallow a few more minute before throwing him a rope.

"Jacob, I won't forbid you to see my daughter," I finally said.

The light that suddenly sparkled in his eyes with relief and glee was pathetic.

" It doesn't mean that there won't be any conditions."

"Of course, of course! Whatever you ask," he exclaimed happily.

I actually laughed at his enthusiasm. He calmed down, ashamed by his own overreaction.

"Renesmee is only ten years old, and therefore, you will treat her with that in mind at all time. Marriage will not happen until she turns eighteen and you will not jeopardize my daughter's virtue in any way."

I could hear his thoughts twirling around, trying to assess my rules.

_Does he mean sex? Does he mean I can't even kiss her? What does he mean? Eight years. Eight fucking years! Is this even possible?_

I smirked internally, proud of my fatherly skills.

" Dad!" Renesmee's outraged shriek pulled me out of my self-reverence.

The door slammed open and she stormed out of her room, red with anger.

" My _virtue _is none of your business!" She yelled. "And I'm _not_ ten!"

**So that was Edward for you. I hope it was good. Don't forget to write a few words if you liked it, or didn't like it... Either way, I love hearing from you!**


	21. Chapter 21

It's Nessie's point of view once again... Enjoy!

CHAPTER 20

The door closed behind dad and Jacob, and I felt the fear creep into my bones. I knew they were fighting some very strong impulses to attack each other. Jacob's extreme shakes, dad's deadly stares and vicious snarls were keeping me on the edge. I was afraid I was the only thing that prevented them from fighting.

Grandpa placed a cold hand on my forehead, the way he always did to monitor my temperature and wellbeing.

I closed my eyes. I was hyper aware of the two men I loved the most outside of my door. There was a heavy silence on the other side. My chest contracted tightly. My body throbbed and my heart was begging for all of this to be easier.

A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

Today was the day I should've been the happiest. Today, I got reunited with the love of my life. Today, I got all my prayers answered. Today, Jacob proposed to me and I said yes. Today was the beginning of my happy forever.

But nothing was the way it was supposed to be.

Another tear ran down my face. Grandpa hugged me and whispered comforting words.

I cried quietly, allowing grandpa to baby me. My hand went to his cheek.

_I'm sorry I fell in love with our enemy._

Grandpa gently pushed me away from his shoulder and looked at me with that wisdom of his and that never-ending tenderness. He spoke very low, understanding that I didn't want our conversation heard from them.

"Never be sorry for who you love. Love is good. Love is magic. Love has no boundaries." He grinned at his last words. He brushed away my tears and hugged me back. "Your grandma reminded me of this not that long ago, when we had finally realized that your dad loved your mom. I was scared that their love was wrong and that it wouldn't be possible. But honey, grandma was right: love has no boundaries. And love brings miracles." He said with so much conviction that I believed him. He looked at me with love and happiness. I knew he meant that I was the miracle.

His words were exactly what I needed to hear and I smiled, kissing his cheek.

_Love is good. Love is magic._ I repeated to myself, feeling that sparkle of joy grow in me.

Grandpa went back to being the doctor and asked me questions about my eating habits since I started college.

He was upset when he learned that I didn't drink any blood after that first week. He was getting really irritated when I admitted that I had lied to the family when I'd mentioned drinking a fox. He was fuming when I confessed that the last days, I didn't eat anything at all.

Grandpa didn't understand I couldn't feed. Not when I thought I had lost my reason for existing.

He didn't lecture me though. He looked gloom and stared into space pensively. He just mumbled "like father, like daughter".

I felt ashamed for my actions now that I realized how dangerous it was to starve. I never thought I was destructible, living with eternal being who never got hurt made me forget my own weaknesses.

A menacing growl in the hallway brought me back to the present. I looked at grandpa with alarm. He shook his head in reassurance and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I was so embarrassed, and a little scared, that dad was acting like a savage animal in front of the man I loved. My family had always told me that the wolves were the dirty, reckless monsters and that we were the sophisticated, civilized creatures.

Dad was proving us wrong.

When Jacob finally broke that heavy silence on the other side of the door, my heart jumped with the electrical jolt that his voice always caused me. My body itched to run to him but I knew they needed this man-to-man conversation.

Jacob's voice was determined but nervous. He sounded young compared to the rest of my family. And I realized that even though he had years on me, dad had decades on him.

I listened to Jacob's words and how he confessed his love for me. My head spun with joy. My heart was too excited inside of my chest. My feet were restless, wanting to go to him at this instant.

The silence that followed his speech was mortifying. I was glued to the bed, my breathing paused, my jaw clenched.

Dad didn't say a word. And I hated that he had the power to make this a nightmare and I hated that I wanted his approval so that I could be completely happy. I didn't think I had the energy to handle another fight. I was weak without Jacob.

"Jacob, I won't forbid you to see my daughter," dad finally said.

The words echoed in my head with brightness. Dad consented of our love.

I let out the air I was holding in. I felt lightness and relief and excitement. I could feel Jacob's similar happiness radiate on the other side of the door. I could hear his grin in his voice.

Grandpa patted my head, a smile to his lips and a light in his eyes that said: I told you everything would be fine.

I jumped off of the bed and ran to the door.

Dad talked more, listing rules, lecturing and _what? How dare dad discussed my virtue and how we were allowed to express our love to each other!_

I saw red. I was furious. I slammed the door open and yelled at dad.

Dad was frigid, not moving at all, in his defensive mode. His eyes leveled with mine in a decisive look.

"Nessie," Jacob exhaled, his eyes shining, "we can be together, that's what count."

I was livid and yet so thrilled to see my Jacob.

"Princess, the decision is made." Dad stated with an authoritative tone I'd had never heard before.

I shot him an evil look.

_If you don't want to see us jeopardizing my virtue, you should leave now, because I'm going to kiss my fiancée, and you can't stop me._

"Renesmee," he ordered with anger.

"Dad, you can't tell me how I should and can love him, I am not a child anymore." I responded with surprising calm.

He glared at Jacob, who shivered and automatically looked down. My dad knew that Jacob was resigned to do whatever he said. And that triggered me to rebel even more.

I ran to my soul mate and jumped in his waiting arms. I crashed my lips against his with fervor.

I didn't care about dad's rules.

Jacob got lost in the kiss immediately, already forgetting the rules. He moaned and sucked on my lower lip. I opened my mouth wider and our tongues reunited. My body was on fire and I squeezed my legs around his waist. Jacob's hands were on my hips and the tingles that erupted with his touch drove me crazy. I deepened our kiss and tangled my hands in his hair.

Suddenly, I was back on the ground, too far from Jacob. His hands pushed me away from him. He was holding me back, making sure I wouldn't jump him again.

He nervously looked over my head to see the vampire behind me. I knew dad wasn't there anymore. He'd left as soon as I had kissed Jacob.

His eyes fell back on me and our gazes locked, the familiar electricity flickering in me. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were dark and so obviously craving for more.

I smiled maliciously, looking at his glistening, swollen lips. I bit my lower lip, thinking about the feeling of them on me. I wanted to feel him and taste him.

"Nessie, baby, please," he begged. He knew he wouldn't resist if I tried him again, and he was such a good boy, trying his hardest to please my dad.

My breathing was calming down and I stopped pushing against his hands.

"Let's respect Edward's rules. He is your dad." Jacob tried to convince me.

A flash of anger passed through me. When did teenagers follow parentals' rules? Why did I have to be a good girl?

"Jacob," I said, slowly walking closer to him. He looked at me with warning, but full of desire. "I need you." I whispered.

Jacob swallowed hard, his eyes fixated on me. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

I shook my head. "No, Jacob, that's not what I mean. I _need_ you." I pressed my palm against his flaming cheek and warmth coursed through my veins before settling down in the pit of my stomach.

His eyes turned pitch black. He felt it: my lust for him. I stepped closer, in slow-motion, not wanting him to push me away again.

My hand was still pressed against his cheek. I lifted myself up onto the tip of my feet, straining to reach his face, and finally pressed my lips against his soft, welcoming mouth.

This time, the kiss was tender and soft. I projected through my hands how his touch made me feel. I needed him to know how he ignited my whole body with love and wants and warm happiness. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me up to him, our bodies one against the other. Our kiss deepened but it was still slow and sweet. My other hand went to his other cheek and I framed his face firmly, while I let myself get lost in the amazing sensations of his lips against mine. His lips trailed to my jaw line. I was breathless. We hadn't kissed with so much passion since that time in the forest. His kisses followed the jaw line up to my ear. His breathing tickled me and blissful goose bumps erupted over my burning body. My heart was erratic. I tugged at his hair with pleasure.

"I need you too, Nessie," he breathed shakily in my ear. I shivered.

I desperately searched his lips and kissed him. He kissed me back lightly before pulling away.

He looked at me with the sexiest smile and the most tantalizing gaze.

I loved him so much.

"Let's slow down, baby," he whispered with little conviction. I clung tightly around his neck. He chuckled. "Nessie, let go of me please," he said, somewhat amused, somewhat freaking out. "Your dad and your grandpa are right here, behind the door."

I clung even harder and bent down, kissing his neck with fierce, sucking on his delicious skin. I heard the intake of breath and felt the quiver in his body. He liked what I was doing to him.

He grabbed my arms from behind him and tried to pull me off of him. I squeezed my legs around his waist firmly while my hands held onto the back of his neck with as much strength as I had.

It felt so good to be this close to him. I loved feeling his chest frantically moving up and down against mine, his hips shifting against mine, teasing that tight ball of fire in the pit of my stomach. His steaming breath was all over me and made my body melt with desire.

"I'll let go if you promise me that you won't listen to my dad." I breathed out with difficulty.

He shook his head with desperation. "I already promised him. Don't make me break my words with your dad, he already hates me."

I smiled against the crook where his shoulder meets his neck. I placed a soft kiss there before lifting my head to face him. I looked at my future husband straight in the eyes.

"He doesn't hate you, Jacob. He would never hate you because you make me so happy."

He nodded, his face glowing with happiness. "You make me so happy too." He kissed me on the forehead and inhaled deeply, spreading yearning sparkles over my skin. "But right now, I would prefer if you let go of me. I think our happiness depend on me not being ripped apart by your dad." I would've busted out laughing by his serious tone if mom's sudden scent hadn't reached me.

Jacob smelled it too because he flinched involuntary at the new vampire scent. The mood between us immediately changed and I let go of Jacob.

Dad swiftly opened the door, his stiff body awaiting the arrival of mom with eagerness.

And then, there she was, walking down the hallway with a quick step. Her worried gaze locked with mine and she quickly examined me with her eyes, relief washing over her.

"I think Jacob is right, princess, you wouldn't want dad to kill him," she said with a tiny smile.

I ran to my mom, hugging her tightly.

"Mom," I stated with solace.

Mom's comforting marble arms wrapped themselves around me in a flash.

"How are you feeling, baby?" She asked with that exaggerated motherly concern, her eyes looking like she would cry if she could. "I got so scared when Alice told me about how sick you were." She squeezed hard and held me there, against her silent heart.

"I'm fine. I just hadn't fed enough. Jacob immediately helped me." I said, suddenly blushing as I remembered sucking the blood out of his palm.

Mom brushed my hair and then let go of me.

She looked up to Jacob, who was staring at her with shock or awe, I wasn't sure. She smiled widely, her eyes sparkling with happiness.

"Jake," she said with enthusiasm, walking toward him. She stopped only a few inches from him. Jacob shook his head with stupor and returned her smile.

"Bells," he said before opening his arms for her. Mom stepped closer and hugged him.

Dad growled and we all stared at him. Mom seemed furious with dad. I approached mom and Jacob, already missing his closeness. Jacob immediately swung his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer.

Mom tore her eyes away from dad and looked back at us. She watched us with inquiry.

"So this is true, Jake? You imprinted on my only daughter?"

"Yep," he simply answered.

Mom shook her head with disbelief but there was delight in her eyes.

She stared one more time at dad and then exhaled with frustration. Dad was immobile and looked miserable, his eyes pleading mom for something.

"Jake, I think you should go home, sleep or something, and come back here tomorrow, okay? We need some family time today." Mom said, looking at both of us for agreement.

I pouted. "Mom, why can't he stay?"

She gave me a sweet smile. "You'll see him soon enough, baby. He needs to sleep, and maybe even take a shower," she teased, "and we need to talk."

I sighed with defeat.

Jacob squeezed me against his side and kissed my temple.

"I'll see you later." He stated, his voice forcing a casual tone but it was strained.

I stared at him and pouted again.

He smiled at me, letting me know everything will be fine. He cupped my cheek and tenderly brushed my cheek.

"I'll be back soon, promise." He said.

I nodded, inhaling deeply, and watched him walk away.

**Please review :) **


	22. Chapter 22

**Happy Belated Christmas to all of you who celebrate it! Your gift to all: the LAST CHAPTER...**

CHAPTER 21

My eyes lingered to the end of the hallway where Jacob had just left. I wasn't worried to see him leave, I knew for sure that he loved me and that he would be back soon. He would never leave me again. I knew I could trust his promise. But I still felt tightness in my chest at seeing him walk away. I wanted him to stay. I loved his presence, the scent he left in the air, the warmth he provided me with, the vibrant, pulsating energy he sparkled in me. And I definitely didn't want to have to face my parents alone.

At that thought, I turned around to look at mom and dad, ready to face whatever they wanted to tell me. Bizarrely, mom was glaring at dad, who looked pained. I frowned as I stared at that image. Recently, mom and dad were behaving differently. I remembered the hushed argument in my room weeks ago. And then the angry glances mom gave dad when she first arrived. They hadn't kissed and were not even gravitating towards each other the way they always did.

Something was weird.

"Princess, let's go back in your room to talk."

I gasped and my heart strained. _They're getting a divorce_. Was that even possible? I thought vampire love was never-changing and strong and forever.

My dad smiled his crooked smile and looked at me with tender.

"Don't worry, that would never happen," he said, stretching his arm toward me. I approached and nestled in my dad's arm, relieved but still confused. He led me inside the room where grandpa was still waiting.

"She thought we were getting a divorce," dad explained to a perplexed mom, who was closing the door behind her.

"Oh, no, baby, never!" mom exclaimed, rushing swiftly toward me, and caressing my head.

"So why are you two grilling each other?"

Mom looked at dad and exhaled an unnecessary breath.

"I'm mad at him. We had some disagreements lately. But that wouldn't affect how much I love him. My love for him will never die, just like us, it's for eternity. I don't exist without him, baby, so don't worry, we will never, never, stop loving each other."

I smiled and immediately thought of the love I had for Jacob.

"I love him that much too," I told my parents.

Mom brushed away a wild strand of hair from my face.

"We know."

"Is it wrong for me to love him?" I asked, fearful of their answer. No matter what it was, I would still love him, and I would still be with him.

Mom looked at dad with plea. I followed mom's gaze and looked at dad. His eyes were on mom's for a while, restraint and concern shadowing his beautiful golden eyes. But I also saw so much love and hope in them. There seem to be some resignation in them too. His eyes moved to mine and I saw both acceptance and happiness in them. He softly held my shoulders and faced me with a smile.

"No, princess, it's not wrong nor bad. It's amazing to love somebody that much. We're happy you found a love as strong and beautiful as ours. We couldn't have wished for anything better."

"We're so happy for you, baby." Mom added.

I stood there in between my parents, hearing exactly what I'd wanted to hear, and finally I felt like everything was perfect. I could finally be happy, completely happy, and I could finally love my Jacob without guilt or melancholy at betraying my family.

I cried tears of relief and pure happiness. I had everything I could ask for and I knew I was the luckiest person on this planet. My joy was buzzing and humming and tingling in my body, my heart swelling so large in my chest. I couldn't wait for Jacob to be back so I could share this perfect feeling with him.

- **Jacob's pov -**

I obeyed the parents of my Nessie. I listened to my old friend and left them alone to talk. I walked down the steps, feeling the coldness spread in me at our temporary separation. I marveled at how my tiny imprint could bring so much fire and sparkles in me. She owned me and was the only one who could make me feel completely alive.

I walked out of the building, knowing that very soon I'll be back here, running to my Nessie once again. But for now, I would give them time to talk and Bella was right, I was in need of a shower and something to eat.

I sprinted to the forest, deciding that phasing would be the fastest way to get home and to do what I had to do before I could get back here as soon as possible.

As soon as I reached the shadow of the forest, I phased and started running with zeal. The forest held so many memories and the images twirled in my head.

I had proposed to her. And she said yes!

I barked out of pure joy. I was too excited for my own good. I sped up, wanting time to pass so I could already be back near her.

I momentarily worried of what Edward and Bella were telling her and wished I could be with her to defend our love against them. But I knew Nessie was strong-headed and that she would win. Our love would not be stopped by anybody, not even ferocious vampires.

Suddenly, I felt a presence in my privacy. It was a faint knowledge that somebody else was around but I couldn't hear or feel anything more. And then, I realized of the silence in my head and remembered how I was disconnected from my kind. I had been ousted and banished by my own brothers. I felt a tang of hurt and sadness.

_Jacob?_

I halted in shock. How the hell was I hearing the voice of the one person I was angry with the most.

_Jake, I can sense your presence. I know you're here._

I stayed still and tried to not think. I wondered how he could sense me and how he could communicate with me. And what really confused me is why would he even try to talk to me after everything.

_Jake, I can't here your fucking thoughts anymore so please say something so I know you're all right, dammit._

I snickered at that. He was pissed and frustrated and that made me feel a little better.

_Why would you give a shit if I'm alive or not, Sam! _

_Jake! Are you okay? We were going fuckin' crazy here trying to get in touch with you! We… I want to apologize for how I dealt with everything. I was wrong and it was out of place to command you to leave your imprint. I'm sorry._

I was stunned by what I was hearing. Sam, the alpha, was apologizing to me, and he referred to Nessie as my imprint. I was speechless.

_Jake, I never wanted for this to end up like this. We all care for you._

_Well it's too late, _I spat, _I'm not part of the pack anymore and nothing can fix that._

_You were the real alpha all along. I'm not fit to lead this pack, not after what I've done to you. You should take over the pack, Jake. _

I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sam was going insane and I took pity on him.

_You've always been a good alpha, Sam. One mistake just makes you normal. Nobody's perfect. You've been good to all of us since the beginning. You're the best leader we could have._

_Jake, you're the born alpha. It's you we need. You can't leave us._

I was just starting my life, here, with the woman I loved. I was going to marry her and I was going to follow her anywhere she wanted to be. I wasn't going to go back to La Push and be alpha now, when I finally found my reason for existing.

_Sam, I love Nessie and I need to be with her. She is all that's important to me right now._

_I know, Jake. She's your imprint and, therefore, she is one of us. No matter your decision about being alpha, we will love her and protect her just like any of our own. _

There was a long pause, both probably realizing the importance of his words.

_I wish I could've told you that when you first told me about her, Jake. Then none of this would've happened. I really messed up! _

_Sam, stop being so hard on yourself. You did what any good leader would. I would've even done the same if I were you. She's one of them, after all. She should be our enemy._

_I should've trusted you, Jake. I should've listened and seen what you were saying. I was so prejudiced and all I thought was that you were getting damn too close to leeches. But I had always known that the Cullens were different. I knew even when you hated them for killing Bella. I knew it when Charlie showed me a picture of his granddaughter. I knew all along that they were good._

I exhaled a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding in. I felt my whole body relax, all the blame and shame I hadn't realized I had was released.

_I know that your Nessie is good, Jake, And I'm so happy you found her. I'm happy that you're finally happy, Jake._

Indeed, I was feeling happy. Everything was in place now and I knew that from now on, I would only have good days. I was feeling free to finally love my Nessie the way I wanted to, with no buried anger or nostalgia. I felt the grin on my wolf face spread.

I was the fuckin' luckiest man on Earth. And all I wanted to do right now was to go back to my Nessie, who was the reason for all this happiness and excitement flickering in me. I wanted to share all of that overflowing joy with her. I wanted to make her as happy as I felt right now.

_Thanks. It really means a lot, Sam. But, uhmm, I gotta go now. _

Sam laughed.

_Oh man, you're whipped just like the rest of us now! A minute apart from your imprint and it's torture! Go to her, Jake, and don't forget, you're still one of us. We'll always be here for you and Nessie._

I turned around and ran back to campus as fast as possible. There was no time to eat and take a shower. I needed to see Nessie. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her. I wanted to see the glee in her eyes and that beautiful smile of hers. I wanted to be with her to celebrate the happiest day of my life: the day she accepted to be my wife for eternity, and the day that my kind accepted our love for the gift it was.

Today was the beginning of my happy-ever-after, and I couldn't wait to have the love of my life in my arms because that's where I belonged, and nowhere else.

THE END

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